It is a small world, after all

Warning: Reading this post may cause the song, "It's a small world" to become stuck in your head for days, but I assure you it will be worth it!

"It's a world of laughter and a world of tears
It's a world of hope and a world of fears
There's so much that we share
That it's time we're aware
It's a small world after all."

The music drifted out of the Magic Kingdom monorail speakers to fall upon our tired ears. It had been a great Saturday - our family's visit to the park had been at a much slower pace than the past few days at Legoland and Universal Islands of Adventure, we had missed the rain (again), and I was looking forward to beaching it for the next few days of our vacation.

As Michael, Jeff, Nicholas and I headed back to the car, I turned on my phone. I had forgotten to charge it the night before and the battery was almost dead, but I wanted to see if I had any text messages. Sure enough, there was one from my mom.

It read, "Your dad just talked to his sister."

My jaw dropped. My eyes started to tear. "No way!!" I exclaimed.

What is so special about a conversation between my dad and his sister? Well, for starters, up until a week prior, my dad didn't even know he had one!

Dad was adopted when he was just two weeks old by my grandparents, who couldn't have children. Dad was an only child and never felt the need to go searching for his birth parents because he was given the love of two or even three children. Even when Grandma died in 2008 Dad wasn't interested in "going down that path". It would have been easy. Mom had known the name of his birth mother, or so we thought.

I had always felt it would be interesting to find out - genetics intrigues me. Although I am a clone of my maternal aunt in many, many ways, I don't look much like anyone in our family - except Dad. I am like him in looks, build, and mannerisms. A part of me has grown up looking closely at strangers for similarities, wondering if they could be related in some way. My standard answer to any doctor's questionaire about the family medical history on my father's side was always a side note - "Don't know, my father was adopted."

Despite my curiosity to know what the heritage and health background of Dad's side was, I respected that it was his decision to start the search for his birth family if he wanted to.

Two weeks ago, however, the powers that be decided that it was time for Dad to find them. Three days before my trip to Florida, I was at my parents' house visiting when Mom pulled me aside.

"Come see what I found," she said as she took me into Dad's office and pulled a piece of paper out of a folder. "It's your dad's adoption certificate."

I did a double take as I read the mother's name. "But who is this?!" My grandmother had told us Dad's birth mother's name was Anne. The name on the adoption certificate was Marcella. "Why did we think it was Anne?"

"I don't know," Mom replied. "But Marcella should be a lot easier to find than Anne."

Sure enough, when Mom plugged Marcella's name into Ancestry.com later she got a hit.

Mom called to give me the news. "We found a Marcella that seems to match. She was born in 1919 and lived only 10 miles away. The bad news though is that she died in 2008, the same year that your Grandma died. However, there is an e-mail address on the family tree so I'm going to e-mail this person and see what comes of it."

Two days later Mom received an e-mail from the family tree owner: "My sister Valerie, who is married to Marcella's grandson, would really like to talk to you."

Mom called me later that night after talking with Valerie. It was my family's first day in Florida and we were driving back from the store.

"I've got some good news!" she said. "I think we've found your dad's birth family! It seems to match up. He has two living sisters and one sister that passed away. I also spoke with one of his sister's daughters, Celena. She was very excited that we found them."

I was astounded, flabbergasted, speechless. Was it really them? After all this time? I wanted to know more.

"June, Carol, and Joyce are your dad's sisters. Joyce passed away in 2011," Mom reported. "His sisters grew up in Pontiac and went to high school in the next town over from us. "

Wow, sisters? I had never actually thought it out in people before, just in genes. It all seemed surreal.

"This whole time they were so close!" I exclaimed. "Did they know about Dad?"

"I don't think so. I guess we'll know more soon. Dad is going to talk with one of the sisters tomorrow," Mom said.

Which brings me back to Disney and the text message: "Your dad just talked to his sister."

That one statement brought so many questions into my head: How did the conversation go? How is Dad taking all this? What is she like? I had to call and find out.

Before I could dial Dad's number, however, my Facebook account started lighting up like a Christmas tree with friend requests and messages from people whose names I didn't recognize. However, as I read the messages it was apparent that they were from the "new" family.

One of the messages was from Celena and it read "Hi I just wanted to introduce myself since we're cousins! Can't wait to meet you all!" Another was from Valerie: "Hi there! Well, things are moving pretty quickly for your family and mine! My husband is one of your newest cousins! I think it's absolutely wonderful that your dad is going to be able to meet his sisters soon."

Wait a minute, I thought. Dad's going to meet them? When? I furiously dialed Mom and Dad's number. Dad answered.

"Hi Dad! We just got out of Disneyworld and I got this message on my phone that you talked to your sister!! I'm dying to know how it went!"

"Well, I'd love to tell you all about it but we're just about to walk out the door to go to dinner with friends. I will give you the brief version. I talked to my sister June and we had a very nice conversation. She seems like a really nice person and we're going to meet with her and her sister, and mine too I guess, Carol, and June's daughter Celena on Friday. You'll be home from Florida then. Would you like to join us?"

"Do kids like candy? Of course I want to come!" I exclaimed. "I can't believe that you have to go now and leave me in the dark!" I wanted to know everything - what were their ages, did they know they had a brother, what was their mom like, etc. I hung up with Dad and then called my brother. Maybe he could fill in some of the details. The phone rang and rang and rang. No one was home.

"Aargh!!" I exclaimed to Jeff. "I just found out the most exciting, mind-blowing news that, after 65 years of being an only child, my dad finds out that he has sisters, and I can't talk to anyone about it!!"

So I turned to the only device left to me to find out more information - Facebook. Now I know that a lot of people don't really like Facebook and yes, it is a time suck, but in this situation it was my saving grace and I will forever be grateful to whoever created it. Mom had told me to look on my cousin Joseph's (June's son) page because there was a picture of him and my dad's birth mom.

It took me awhile to find the picture but when I did it took my breath away. Staring up at me was a female version of my father - gray hair and blue eyes, great big smile too. So that's where the blue eyes and grey hair come from, I thought, two traits I, and not my brother, shared with my dad. Yet in Joe I could see traits of my brother.

Dad with Marcella and his sisters (Carol and June)

"Look at this!!" I said to my husband as I shoved my phone in his face. "It's my dad's birth mom!!" Jeff was driving so it probably wasn't the smartest thing for me to put my phone in his face, but I was really excited and he was the only one I could share it with.

On Celena's page I found a treasure trove of pictorial wealth. She had pictures of herself, her mom, and her brothers when they were younger as well as pictures.of Marcella. As I browsed through Joe and Celena's pictures I took note of all the physical similarities we all shared. It wasn't just my dad that looked like them either. In a few pictures of June I noticed that she and I had the same cheekbones and nose and face shape.

Jen (left) and June (right)

It is hard to explain the emotions that bubbled to the surface in that two hour drive from Orlando to Venice, FL - emotions that I didn't even know were there. It felt like a treasure had been found that I didn't even know was lost. I felt very lucky that for my whole life I have had a very wonderful, loving and close relationship with my family of aunts and uncles and cousins. Now I was being blessed with the chance to get to know a whole other side that I had only wondered about.

Even though I was on vacation in Florida I couldn't wait to get back home to the polar vortex that was Michigan. I wanted to know more about these people who shared my genes - what were they like? What interests did we share?

I sighed and watched the palm trees go by. It was going to be a long week.

Stay tuned for the next post in which more is revealed!!

Silver Bells

It is December 8^th and I’m finally just feeling the spirit of Christmas. Before today I had no desire to decorate the house or make cookies or even listen to Christmas music! I found myself going through the motions for the kids. Even going on our annual Christmas tree hunt didn't do it for me, perhaps because although we chose to go on a beautiful, albeit super cold day, by the end of our one-hour trek through the tree lot my hands were as cold and numb as Audrey’s from the movie Christmas Vacation. (We did end up with a beautiful tree though.)

However, something triggered inside me today as I walked amongst the crowds.  Perhaps it was generated by the joyful energy of the children who were waiting in line to see Santa, or maybe it was the snowflakes I saw twirling in the air as I left the mall. Maybe it doesn't matter what it was that made it happen – what’s important is that it happened!!

There’s a lot to be said about Christmas shopping done on-line from the comfort of your home. Lord knows I love my Amazon! However, going out into the crowds yesterday made me realize that by shopping alone in your jammies you miss out on the group energy that is abundant at this time of year - that special feeling you get when you find that perfect gift for that special someone multiplied by the hundreds, the mass feeling of love and joy that the holidays bring, the declarations of “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Holidays”. That feeling is infectious and is something you cannot get while sitting in front of the computer.

Even on the way home when I was stuck in traffic the Christmas spirit inside me was not diminished. I turned my radio dial to the Christmas station and sang along with Harry Connick Jr. and the kids to “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”, and to a favorite from my teenage years, the Band-Aid rendition of “Do They Know it’s Christmas Time?” (I still love to try to identify all the individual singers).

My son Michael and I have been meditating on and off this year. It’s really helped him focus his emotions and thoughts. Recently we started attending a kids’ meditation class at Simple Organics in Oxford, led by the son of the owner. Now I have never been a great meditator on my own – I get too distracted – but when I’m in a group I am able to focus a little better. And the energy put out by a group meditation is so much more powerful! We both look forward to our class.

I guess my point (and message to myself) is to take advantage of the group energy this season. Even if you don’t need to shop, get out there – stroll through a downtown area and look at the window displays and the city lights. Listen to the people as they hustle and bustle. Put a dollar or two into the Salvation Army bucket. Take a walk through the snow. These things are powerful and may just spark your inner Christmas spirit. Once ignited, it will carry you on a flame through the rest of the season.

One of my favorite holiday pastimes when I was a little girl was to get together with my best friend and sing Christmas carols. “Silver Bells” was one of our favorites. I can’t speak for my friend but it’s still one of the songs I hold close to my heart. As I recall the words I realize that it is the perfect song to evoke that dormant Christmas spirit that is always in us but may have been waylaid by our everyday lives or the rush to get the best deals through on-line shopping.

Sing it with me won’t you?

“City sidewalks, busy sidewalks
Dressed in holiday style
In the air
There's a feeling
of Christmas.

Children laughing
People passing
Meeting smile after smile
and on every street corner you'll hear

Silver bells, silver bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring-a-ling, hear them sing
Soon it will be Christmas day.

Strings of street lights
Even stop lights
Blink a bright red and green
As the shoppers rush
home with their treasures

Hear the snow crunch
See the kids bunch
This is Santa's big scene
And above all this bustle
You'll hear

Silver bells, silver bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring-a-ling, hear them sing
Soon it will be Christmas day”

There now. Don’t you feel better? I do.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the heart!

Endings and Beginnings

Labor Day weekend has always been a time of endings and beginnings. Summer vacation is ending and school is starting. Warm summer breezes give way to cool fall-like wind that tugs on your skin and prompts you to put on a sweater.

For me, however, Labor Day weekend always seems to have a deeper symbolism. Like clockwork, something always begins or ends on this weekend. One year I moved to Santa Fe on Labor Day weekend. Goodbye old life in Michigan. Hello new life in New Mexico. Another year I released an old relationship only to find a new one waiting for me in the wings. Ten years ago I discovered that I was pregnant with my first child. Last year we got new kittens and my sons got to discover what unconditional love is like.

This year, Labor Day weekend held a definite ending for our family. Our 14 year old black cat Sabrina died. She'd been diagnosed with diabetes in the spring and had struggled with the disease, but this was her time.

I first got Sabrina from my sister-in-law back in 2000. She had just moved in with my brother and Sabrina decided that she didn't like Jon, showing it by peeing all over his landscaping blueprints. I, being the animal lover that I am, took her in, and soon the peeing stopped. Sabrina soon traveled with me to another house when I moved in with my husband-to-be, Jeff.

Sabrina was a very healing cat. Whenever Jeff or I were not feeling well Sabrina would sleep on our laps or chests. Sometimes she would just place a paw somewhere on our body and commence with the purring. I first knew that I was pregnant with both of our kids because she would always sit on my abdomen, like she was a momma bird incubating her young egg.

When I had Michael, Sabrina felt displaced and Jeff soon took over as her favorite human. Michael learned when he was 1 or 2 not to bother her too much or he would get nipped. Nicholas never learned it. He was always bothering Sabrina - he subscribed to the "I'll love her and squeeze her and call her George" theory that hugging and squeezing and laying on Sabrina was the best way to show her love. He had a lot of nips and scratches to disprove this theory, but he never learned (or cared). Now that I think of it, he was this way with me too.

As Sabrina grew older she showed her displeasure to almost anything by peeing on our stuff, mostly mine. She taught me quickly that if I left any clothes on the floor that they were sure to get peed on. If she was really mad she would pee on something in the boys' rooms. But never Jeff's.

When we got the kittens she was not very happy. In fact, she was pissed, literally. Our bedroom carpets became targets and I became very tired of it very soon.

"This cat needs to go!" I would shout after finding another pee spot. But the rest of the family didn't agree with me so she stayed.

Soon her legs betrayed her and we realized that she could no longer go downstairs to her litter box. So Jeff brought the litter box up and put it in our bathroom. Sometimes she made it into the box but most of the time I would find puddles outside.

"Sabrina, you're a cat - you're not supposed to think outside the box!" I would say to her as I cleaned up the puddle.

When she peed out a blood clot this summer I knew she was near the end. She was peeing everywhere, vomiting all the time, and couldn't jump up on the bed anymore. We went away three times on vacation and every time we came back I was expecting our neighbor to tell us that she had died while we were away. Luckily she didn't.

"Sabrina is really sick and may be on her way to heaven soon," I kept warning the kids. Nicholas, who is 7 1/2, didn't like to hear this news and, I think, didn't really accept it. He would make a beeline to find Sabrina in her favorite place under our bed, and talk to her and pet her.

And then the week before Labor Day weekend, Sabrina made a turn for the worse. She stopped eating, she was vomiting foam, she wobbled when she walked, and she was having trouble seeing. She was ready.

I warned the boys that she was really sick and probably wouldn't make it through the end of the week. They both started to sob. "I don't want Sabrina to go," Nicholas cried. "I love her!"

"I know you do," I said, tearing up a little myself. "But she's old and sick. There's not much left in this life for her now."

I made an appointment for the vet on Friday afternoon. That morning the boys spent a lot of time with her, petting her from under the bed. We talked a lot about death and what kitty heaven would be like. Ten-year-old Michael made a very adult-like observation that Sabrina was ready to die but was hanging on because she didn't want to leave us.

"You're right," I said. "Sometimes people or animals can't leave until their loved ones release them, It's a very powerful thing to do."

Michael left and came back a while later. "I told Sabrina that it's ok to leave us and go to heaven," he reported as he gave me a big hug. I knew then that he would be all right when she died because on some level he "got" death. I knew he had made peace with her passing. It was Nicholas who I was worried about. He was younger and didn't really understand what death was all about.

Thankfully my mom took the boys to the beach that afternoon. Jeff came home and we took Sabrina outside for her last romp in the grass. And then it was time. She passed very peacefully. We wrapped her in a towel and put her in a box in the garage.

When the kids came home Nicholas's first thoughts were about Sabrina.

"Where is Sabrina?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, buddy, but she died today."

"Noooooo!!" he sobbed as he collapsed in my arms. "I wasn't ready for her to go!" He cried for a while and then looked up at me, his tear-stained glasses enlarging the pain in his eyes.

"How did she die? Where did she die? Where is she? Can I hold her?"

We had kept her body for this very reason. This was the kids' first real experience with the death of someone super close to them and I wanted them to have closure.

I took Nicholas outside and sat him on a bench. Then I brought Sabrina's towel-wrapped body and laid it in his arms. Gently we removed part of the towel so he could see her head and face.

"Hi Sabs," he said to her. "I didn't want you to die. You were the best kitty in the world."

He looked at me and asked if he could give her a hug. I realize that this sounds very macabre, but I knew then that this was part of his healing process.

"Certainly," I said, and tearfully watched as my little "baby" held and rocked his "baby" back and forth, back and forth, back and forth as he cried into her fur.

My heart broke as I watched his splinter into a million pieces. As long as I live I will never forget the raw grief and emotion that was splashed across his face at that moment when he learned nothing in this world is here to stay forever, even if you want it to.

He would have held her for the rest of the day if we had let him. In fact, he did ask if she could sleep with him that night. We drew the line at that one, saying no.

When Nicholas first heard that Sabrina might not have long to live, he asked if we could have a funeral. I told him that was a wonderful idea. And so, after he gave Sabrina one last hug, we took her away and Nicholas called up his aunt and uncle and grandma and grandpa and invited them to come to her funeral.

Later he asked me if we could have a line at the funeral like the one he saw at his Great-Uncle Bob's funeral. "You know, Mom," he said, "The line where everyone comes and gives me a hug and tells me they're sorry that Sabrina died." I told him that he could do anything he wanted at the funeral.

The next day was bright and sunny - a great day for a cat funeral. Without any prodding from me Nicholas dressed in his most fancy shirt and put on his only tie. Then he wrote Sabrina a letter to take with her to heaven. "I'll miss you Sabrina. I'll always love you!" He and Michael then helped Jeff make a kitty casket, complete with engraved cover.

When everyone arrived, we took the casket into the corner of the back yard where Jeff had dug a hole. We stood in a circle as my dad spoke about the circle of life and about Sabrina's next phase of being. Partway through the service Nicholas went over to the casket and laid one of his teardrops on it. I held Nick's hand as my brother spoke when no one else could - we were all too choked up to say anything.

Finally we laid Sabrina to rest. We each placed some dirt on top of her casket and then the boys helped Jeff finish burying it. Janet had brought some flowers so we placed them on top.

We didn't have a luncheon afterwards or even any snacks - I think that would have been going too far. Some may think we went a little over the top as it was, but I think it was important to give my boys a chance to deal with their grief to the fullest. I think had we just told them that Sabrina had died and now she was gone, they would have felt incomplete somehow. By allowing them to have a ceremony celebrating her life and encouraging them to cry and feel sad this will help them to know how to deal with a loss, whatever it is, in the future.

Nicholas cried a lot on the day of Sabrina's funeral and in the days following, but now he can talk about her without tearing up. The other night I asked him what he thought she was doing now. He thought a moment and then said, "I think she's playing with her brother in kitty heaven."

The kittens we brought into our house last year are no longer kittens but full-grown cats. Leia has now turned into the alpha cat and is trying to fill the space that Sabrina left. She is now the healing cat - she, like Sabrina, instinctively knows when someone is not feeling well or is feeling sad and goes to lay by them. I knew she was going to be this way on the last day of Sabrina's life when she stayed under the bed with Sabrina the whole day as if to say "Hey, you didn't really like me much while I was a kitten but I'm not going to let you pass on your own."

I will always remember this Labor Day weekend as the time the life of our dear cat ended. I will also remember that it was a time of beginnings too. It was the beginning of a sense of emotional strength in the boys - one that is only brought on by loss. It is the knowledge that life does carry on after you lose someone you love. It's knowing that the departed will always live in your heart. And it's knowing that your tears will always make you feel better.

Hi Ho Hi Ho, Back To School Shopping We Shall Go!

It's 9:30 a.m. on a cloudy, cool August morning. I'm in the car with the boys en route to Kohl's where I'm hoping we can begin and finish all our school shopping. I know it's a very ambitious goal, but Early Bird sales started this morning and I've got a 30% discount coupon, so bring on the savings!!!

Neither of the boys are particularly interested in getting new clothes (especially Nicholas because he hates trying them on) but they are very excited to get new shoes. Well, Nicholas is. He wants to find some "cool" shoes, whatever that means. Michael has been told that he has to get tie shoes this year. I would think that he would be embarrassed that his brother learned to tie his shoes before him, but, being part of the "velcro generation," he doesn't really care and remains loyal to the fuzzy fasteners.

We hit the clothes department first. The boys hightail it to the graphic t-shirt rack filled with all their favorites: Ninjago, Mario, Star Wars, and Angry Birds. After my discount the shirts will be about $5 each. It feels good to say yes when they ask me if they can get two shirts. My heart drops when Nicholas sees an Amazing Orange t-shirt and goes beserk: "Amazing Orange!!! I've always wanted this t-shirt! Can I get it Mom?!!" We look for his size and I am secretly relieved when we can't find it: it is a pretty obnoxious shirt.

We move on to the age 4-7 racks, where we find a plethora of shirts and pants that Nicholas is agreeable to. I like them also because they will end up costing about $6 each. Nicholas spots some grey and white camouflage pants that he likes. I find a 7 and grab a few more pairs in different colors. Same thing with shirts and sweat pants and soon my bag is full and we are done with him.

In the size 8-20 arena it's a different story. There are no $6 deals and I am hard pressed to find any $10 deals. All the clothes are Tony Hawk brand and Michael doesn't like them (only because that's what his brother is into and God forbid that they like the same thing!!).

As we search for jeans I realize that 9 year old boys have been gypped: manufacturers don't make pants for 9 year olds! The size range is 7, 8, and then 10/12. The size 8's are too small for Michael and the 10/12's are too big so we give up on jeans. We find a few shirts that he likes and then move on to shoes.

Nicholas immediately makes a bee-line straight for the Tony Hawk high-tops. "Mom, I want these!! These are the cool shoes I want!" he shrieks, holding up a pair of turquoise blue and yellow shiny high top shoes.  I'm not so thrilled. Nicholas doesn't need high tops - what he needs is an all-around pair of sneakers to run around in. I point out to him that these particular shoes have double the laces and would be really hard to manage. Wouldn't he like some nice yellow and black running shoes instead?  He shakes his head and whines, this stubborn boy of mine. Someday this trait of his that allows him to hold his ground so well will be a great asset, but right now it's wearing me out.

I tell him to wander the aisles and see if there's another pair of shoes that he might be interested in and move onto Michael who is pouting because I'm making him get tie shoes. I ask him if he's seen anything he likes.

"Yeah, I want those Skechers but you won't let me because they're not tie shoes. You never let me get anything I want!!" he whines. I picture a cartoon balloon above my head and think to myself, "Can I get some cheese with that whine?" I steer him to the aisles and he picks out a pair of nice, reasonably priced shoes. Then he has to put on his socks, which brings up another round of complaints. He finally gets one shoe on and immediately decides he doesn't like it because it feels weird.

I can see that we are not going to find shoes at Kohl's. Famous Footwear is a few stores down and they are having a BOGO (Buy One Get One half off) sale so I announce that we're going to try there next.

We check out, put the bag in the car, and head off to Famous Footwear. This time it is Michael that makes a bee-line to a shoe. It's a cool-looking neon yellow tie shoe but it costs $61, which is not in my budget. Michael gives me the "I can't-ever-get-what-I-want" schtik again and I've reached my limit.

"We're leaving," I announce abruptly, take the shoe from Michael's hand and put it back, and march toward the exit.

"Have a nice day," trills an employee.

"Yeah, right," I grumble to myself. Next time Jeff can take them shoe shopping.

----

Later that night as I'm putting our purchases away I have Nicholas try on his clothes just to make sure they fit. The sweat pants fit fine but he can't even get the camo pants over his butt they're so tight. It's the same story with half of his shirts too.

"Ugh!" I moan, discouraged that I have to return half of the good deals I found today. I rewind in my head to earlier in the day to see if I can remember if I saw any 7X sizes. If not, this will be the end of our school shopping at Kohl's forever because I am not too impressed with the selection that I saw in the older boys' section.

Anyway, I'm not ready to have two boys in older boys' clothing. That would mean that they're growing up, and I'm not ready to accept that just quite yet!!

School's out for summer!!!

We interrupt this blog about Mexico (really, I AM working on Part 3!!!) for a special end of school message:


Sigh. Today is the last day of school. In two and one-half hours my precious alone/free time will be over for 80 days and replaced with beach time, board games, picnics, trips to the park, and (I'm sure) endless sibling conflict resolution. While I'll be glad not to have to play the morning hustle every morning (you know how it goes - wake the kids up 4 times, make breakfast, pack lunches, make sure library books/folders are in backpacks, remind them 10 times to focus on getting teeth brushed and shoes on, and run out the door with one minute to spare shouting "GO GO GO!!!"), I'm not quite yet ready for school to be over.

Nicholas has had a banner year, partly thanks to his wonderful Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. N, and partly because we kept him back a year. I am proud to boast that he is at the top of his class in reading, writing, and math, is emotionally well-adjusted, a popular student (especially with the ladies), and loves going to school. His fine motor skills greatly increased too and he is now a kid that loves to draw and color and create, which is something he never liked to do before kindergarten.

For all the hours that Jeff and I spent debating the pros and cons of sending him to kindergarten when he was almost 6 as opposed to when he was almost 5, this year proved that we did the right thing. I did a lot of volunteering in the classroom and I noticed that many of the younger students just had a hard time adjusting - kindergarten is a fast-paced environment with a lot to learn. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if a few of them repeated kindergarten next year. I also found it interesting that there was a big chunk of boys in his class that turned six just about the same time he did in October - great moms think alike!

Michael had a great year too. He earned all A's in every subject for all four quarters, most of the time with 100% or better! He's still a great reader (he just finished inhaling the first Harry Potter book). What I'm most proud about him though is that he has made great strides in his writing, which is his least favorite subject. Writing has always been a struggle for him because he has trouble thinking of ideas. Thanks to his great 3rd grade teacher who has given him some great tools (and rather advanced ones - I didn't learn these until I was in 5th or 6th grade), Michael no longer complains when he has a writing assignment. Maybe he'll take after his mom after all and learn to love to write!

I am reluctant to let go of these great teachers that have brought my sons so far, in particular Mrs. N., who both boys had for kindergarten. She is such a great teacher and I am sad that this is the end of the road for the Byrnes family - I don't have any more kids who will ever have her. But, it's time for the kids to move on to 1st and 4th grades and I guess I have to accept it. Yet,I wish I could keep them this age for a few more years.

My year was great too and that's partly why I'm sad to see it end. I have worked really hard to write my children's book and it is now a work in progress instead of just an idea. Lately life has taken over (birthdays, family, end-of-school activities, etc.) and I haven't had much time to write, but hopefully I will be able to start again soon. Maybe I won't have the total peace and quiet writing time that I have had while the boys were in school, but video game background noise can't be that distracting can it?

Mexico we go 2012 - Part 2

April 22, 2012

Today is our third day in Mexico. Yesterday we achieved the status of beach bums and spent most of the time in the sun and the water. We discovered that one of the beach bars has swings around it and spent some time there swinging in the warm breeze, listening to the sounds of the waves break on the shore, and sipping our drinks. Those Coco Banana drinks are very tasty and nutritious - they have a real banana in them!

Today is our big adventure day. We are going on the Coba Maya Encounter Adventure tour run by Alltournative Offtrack Adventures, an ecotourism company. I have been eyeballing this tour ever since I read about it in a travel guidebook. During the tour you visit the Coba ruins, then are taken to an authentic Mayan village where you will rappel into a cenote (underground sinkhole pool), go ziplining over a lake, canoe through a lagoon, and eat an authetnic meal prepared by the Mayan women.

I love going to ancient sites and the Yucatan is full of them - Chichzen Itza, Tulum, El Balak, Uxmal, and Coba are some of the most popular Mayan ruins in the area. I've been to Chichen Itza and Tulum so Coba is a must for this trip. The Chichen Itza tour I took 13 years ago was a very grand affair. We took a huge air-conditioned tour bus to the ruins, got to swim in a very large cenote, stopped at a small village so we could purchase "authentic" souvenirs, and stopped at another village for dinner. Although I was totally in awe of Chichen Itza,  the tour was a little too touristy for me. On this trip I want to participate in something a little more intimate.

From what I've read on the Alltournative website, this tour will meet my requirements: the tour groups are limited to 12 people and they pick you up from your hotel in a small van. I've never been rapelling or ziplining before (neither has Jeff) and it would be great to knock those off my bucket list! Plus, I like the mission of Alltournative: to help various Mayan communities in Quintana Roo become self-sustaining and thus allow them to preserve their land and heritage.

Our Alltournative tour van picks us up in front of the lobby at 8:45 a.m. Our tour guide is a pretty young woman from Guadalajara named Isa. I'm a little dismayed to find out that most of our tour group speaks French. Not a deal breaker for me but I was hoping to make some friends on this outing. Plus, Isa will have to give us information in both French and English - I hope that she doesn't leave anything out because her voice gets tired!

Being in Mexico one would assume that you would hear a lot of Spanish being spoken. I studied Spanish in high school and college so although it is a little rusty I manage to understand quite a bit (and speak it too when I'm not afraid of making a mistake!). Not here though. One thing that Jeff and I noticed yesterday is that there are a lot of French-speaking people at our resort. On the beach we were surrounded by French speakers. Visitors from the US are far and few between. Canadians by far dominated the resort - many from Montreal-Quebec, others from the west side of Canada.

So we are not surprised to find out that our fellow English speaking travel companions are from Canada. As we drive to Coba Isa tells us about the history of the Yucatan pensinsula and about the flora and fauna of the region. I learn that one cup of water from a cenote contains as much calcium as 8 glasses of milk. This is due to the predominance of limestone that leaches into the water from the ground. This fact amazes me and I cannot wait to soak up that calcium during my cenote swim. I wonder if osteoporosis even exists here!

Coba is located about 30 minutes inland from the coast at Tulum. When we arrive we join another Alltournative group and are assigned a Coba tour guide named Juan who is of Mayan descent. He divides us into two groups, English on the right and French on the left. He is a wonderful guide - so full of information about the Mayan people and the Coba site. He's got quite a good sense of humor too.

Juan tells us that nearly 50,000 Mayans occupied Coba from 400 to 1100 AD. The heydays of Tulum (1200-1500AD) and Chichen Itza (625-925AD) took place much later, making Coba one of the oldest sites in the area. He tells us that although the site encompasses nearly 50 square miles, only one percent of its 6,000 structures have been excavated.

Riding a Mexican limo through Coba

Coba's claim to fame is its main pyramid, Nococh Mul or "large hill", which, at 138 feet, is the tallest in the Yucatan. After talking with us for 45 minutes, Juan sets us free in the jungle in search of this pyramid. We will only have about an hour to see Nococh Mul and the rest of the structures so we opt to take a "Mexican limousine" there. I am excited about climbing the pyramid. I climbed Chichen Itza's most awesome Temple of Kulkulkan (El Castillo) when I was there in 1998. I discover that I am lucky - not many people will be able to say they have climbed both since the government closed El Castillo off to climbers in 2006 and they may soon do the same with Nococh Mul.

Nococh Mul does indeed loom large out of the jungle, a massive tower of limestone bricks. Jeff looks a little unsure about climbing it but I start ascending right away. I always joke that I'm part jackrabbit and I guess it's true. I have no fear of heights and soon I am halfway up.

At the top I turn and look at the vast expanse of jungle laid out before me, broken only by the top of a ruin. The view is magnificent and I can see for miles.

Ball court

The oval temple

The other structures pale in comparison to Nococh Mul, although the ball courts are pretty impressive. We could have easily spent another couple hours exploring the ruins but our tour needs to continue on. Next stop, the Mayan village of Pac Chen.

The drive to Pac Chen is long and bumpy. Although it is only 15 miles from Coba, the road is unpaved and slow-going. While we drive, Isa maps out the rest of our day: first we will participate in a Mayan purification ceremony, rappel into a cenote, zipline, canoe, and then have lunch. Lunch? I think. It is now about 12:00, which is lunchtime by my watch and I am hungry. I regret not bringing any snacks.

Pac Chen is a traditional Mayan village of 125 people that, according to Fodor's website, has no running water or electricity (although I do see a few satellite dishes and wonder if that claim is true). The people live in thatch huts. Isa tells us that they sleep in traditional hammocks. The village's main source of income is the money generated by the tours that Alltournative brings through (only 80 people per day are allowed into the village).

When we arrive we are led to a hut with lockers. Isa advises the group to leave our backpacks in the lockers. I take my camera anyway. Rappelling and ziplining are once-in-a-lifetime things for me and there is no way that I'm not going to take the opportunity to document them!

Our adventure in Pac Chen begins with a 20-minute hike through the jungle. Isa is a fast walker so there is no time to linger and take it all in as I'd like. We arrive at a cleared area where a Mayan elder stands in front of an altar. In the air I smell the sweet scent of copal, a resin-like substance that is burned like incense and used in purification ceremonies.

Isa tells us that the elder is going to purify us before we go into the cenote. She says that the cenote is sacred to the village and they don't want any negative energies or entities to enter it. We stand and the elder begins the ceremony. He speaks in Mayan but I catch the intent of what he's saying. He is praying to the Mayan gods, the 4 directions, to above and below. He lights a sage-like herb and makes the Mayan cross in front of each of us. I don't know about anyone else but when he is done I feel lighter.


Now it's time to put on the rappelling equipment. We are all given harnesses to put on, then Isa demonstrates how we are going to make our way into the cenote. I look down into the cenote. The water is the most beautiful water I have ever seen - even more brilliant than the ocean by our resort. It looks like a turquoise gem.

I'm not really nervous but I still don't want to be the first one to go. Two men volunteer to go first. They make it look so easy that Jeff and I want to be next. Isa hooks our harness onto a large rope. We are told to hold the connected end with our right hand and the slack end with our left. To go lower we only need to slowly let up the slack end.

Sounds easy, right? It actually is. Soon we are at the bottom and are transferred to large, black inner tubes. The water is not as cold as I would have thought. It's refreshing, like Lake Michigan is refreshing (at least it is to me!), and feels good on my hot, damp skin. The tone inside the cenote is reverent and quiet. I see bats flit to and fro. I hear the rhythm of stalactites as their condensation drips into the pool, plink, plink, plink. Small black catfish swim around me and I try not to be bothered.

When we are all sufficiently refreshed, Isa tells us how to get out of the cenote. There are two ways: one is by climbing a ladder and one is via the "Mexican elevator", which essentially involves being pulled up and out of the cenote. I am feeling adventurous so I choose to climb the ladder. It's a long way up but I feel like I can handle the climb. Jeff opts for the elevator.

Next up is ziplining! We keep our harnesses on and hike a short way to what looks like a small lake. In actuality it is an open cenote. One by one we don our helmets. I want to be one of the last to go in order to watch Jeff. When it is my turn Isa helps me hook my harness to the zipline. She counts down from three and away I go! It is a thrilling feeling to be flying through the jungle. All too soon it is over. I wish I could have another turn as I was too focused on not losing my shorts (which were tucked into my harness) and trying to prevent from turning backwards.

Our last activity before we eat is to canoe the lagoon. Jeff and I both agree that we'd be happy to skip this activity because we are so tired and hungry, but everyone participates and so do we. The lagoon is pretty - the water is a yellowish-green in spots and the trees are very verdant. I do keep an eye out for crocodiles since they live on the lagoon.

Now for the food!!! We are ushered into a mid-size hut. There are two tables that run the length of the hut and at the front is a table with hot food being laid out on it by two young Mayan girls. Isa explains what the dishes are. There is chicken in achiote (a red colored herb), rice and beans, squash empenadas, salsa, spaghetti, and vegetables such as carrots, jicama, cucumbers and tomatoes. There is also hot vegetable soup made from carrots, potatoes, and cabbage. I try some of everything except for the spaghetti, since I can get that at home. Everything is delicious, especially the soup. Isa said that we could have seconds if we wish but the next tour group enters before I can do so, which is a little disappointing.

This is the end of our tour. We toast it with a tequila shot and then crowd into the van. It has been a long day full of adventure and exercise and soon the motion of the van lulls me to sleep.

Stay tuned for Part 3, where Jeff and I go exploring outside the resort on our own!

Mexico we go 2012 - Part one

April 20, 2012

It's 6:00 a.m. and I'm on a plane bound for Dallas. Jeff is sitting beside me getting settled in. The kids are (hopefully) still sleeping, snuggled in their bed at Grandma and Grandpa's house, which will be their home for the next seven days. Dallas is not our final stop. Once we are there we will quickly change planes and fly on to the Cancun airport. That still is not our final destination. We are headed to the Riviera Maya so we will have to take a van ride 1.5 hours south of Cancun. It's a long day of travel, especially since we had to get up this morning at 2:45 a.m. to get to the airport by the required 2 hours ahead of time, but hopefully we will still get to enjoy a little sunshine today!

Why are we headed to Mexico? Jeff and I never really had a honeymoon so we decided to go all out to celebrate our 10th anniversary this year. After a lot of research and debates on the safety of Mexico we decided on an all-inclusive resort in Akumal, Quintana Roo. It's our first all-inclusive - our method of travel usually tends to be the off-the-beaten-path kind - but for the price (and the safety) we couldn't pass it up.

I try to sleep but I forgot my travel pillow and am not very comfortable. Plus, I have a little travel anxiety. This is only our second trip without the boys and I am always very anxious about being up in the air. Every time we touch down is a relief. I don't like to think about the big "What if?" that all parents must face when they leave their children behind on vacation, but I do. We have taken every precaution so the kids are protected in case something were to happen to us.

I think of them now as the clouds pass by my window. We tucked them in last night at Grandma's house so the last thing they felt before they went to bed was our arms hugging them tight and our lips kissing them on their cheeks. Nicholas had his moment the night before - he cried and clung to me when I laid down with him. He didn't want us to leave him. Michael seemed alright with us leaving, so much so that I told him to give his brother some extra loving for us. Before we left I placed a family photo into each of the boys' lunchboxes, wrote a special message on the back, and sealed it with a lipstick kiss. I hope this is enough to get them through the week.

2:30 pm (central time)
We are driving along Highway 307 in Quintana Roo, Mexico, getting closer to our resort in the town of Akumal. After spending 5 hours on a plane, close to one hour in the line for customs, and another on the bus, Jeff and I are both ready to just get there already! We are famished since there was no food served on our plane and we didn't have time to grab a bite to eat in between flights. All we have had to eat today is a banana and a granola bar. When we landed the clouds were dark and heavy. They have since let loose with very heavy rain. I hope this is not a foreshadowing of what our weather will be like while we're here.

The road that we're traveling on is flanked with billboards in Spanish and a tiny hut/house/business here and there. Every so often, however, something gigantic springs up to announce yet another resort - letters, pyramids, fountains, etc. Our resort is one of the last on the strip, yet I am still amazed when I see this giant arched wall loom ahead announcing that we have arrived at the Gran Bahia Principe complex of resorts (and because I am unprepared I don't have my camera ready to take a picture of it).

The sun peeks out as we make our way to the lobby of our resort - the Gran Bahia Principe Sian Kaan, the newest one of four in the complex. We are greeted by a bellhop dressed all in white and wearing a Banana-Republic style hat. He takes our luggage and directs us to the front desk where we are greeted with a friendly "Hola!" by the concierge. We are given a white envelope that contains our dinner reservations (which I made beforehand) and our room keys. He shows us a map of the resort and explains that, as guests of the exclusive Sian Kaan, we have the privilege of eating at any of the other three resorts (Coba, Akumal, and Tulum) as well as our own. Our resort has its' own private beach too but we can use any of the other resorts' beaches too. Since it's an all-inclusive we can eat and drink as much as we want.

We follow the bellhop to our room. According to the hotel website the Sian Kaan is a smaller, more modern  property than its sister resorts. I've yet to see the other resorts up close but so far the website is correct. The whole lobby area is open with a sit-down bar to the right and an open air bar to the left. The buildings house three stories of rooms - the top floor has its own penthouse with jacuzzi tub, the middle floor has a small balcony, and the bottom floor has a jacuzzi tub cleverly hidden by tall palms. The architecture of the buildings is not what you'd expect in Mexico - the buildings are simply white stucco with wooden vigas. They look pretty against the (now) blue sky though.

Our buidling is near the lobby and across from one of the three pools, but our room faces the "jungle" so it has a lot of privacy. On the bed sits intertwined towels in the shape of two swans - an example of the exquisite towel art that I had heard about on Tripadvisor.com. There'll be lots of time for unpacking later. Right now food is our number one priority. We quickly change out of our grubby travel clothes and into our bathing suits and coverup and make our way to the buffet restaurant.

This buffet is like no other buffet I've ever been to in my life. The area of food that's available is seriously as big as the main floor of my ranch house back in Michigan. There's a sushi bar, hot entrees like chicken and pork, Mexican specialties, rice, beans, fruit, breads, and a dessert aisle that goes on forever! I don't want to go too overboard because it's so late in the day and our dinner reservation is just 4 short hours away. I opt for the Mexican chicken dish and fill my plate with rice, corn chips, lots of fresh guacamole, and salsa.

Jeff at the buffet

Jeff and I sit down and fill ourselves with the first real sustenance we've had all day. The food is so good and I'm not just saying that because I'm so hungry! In Mexico I find that there's no such thing as mild salsa and even medium is hard to find. I tried the Salsa Molcajate, which is a chunky mixture of tomatoes, onions, and peppers. It gives me hiccups right away because one of the peppers I ate is a habanero. Luckily I have plenty of guacamole to cool my palate. Jeff cools his mouth with lots of Mexican beer, the Dos XX kind that is served at our resort. The guacamole here is fresh and tasty. I'm famous for my homemade guacamole and Jeff thinks that this is as good as mine! I'm not sure if this is a testament to my guacamole being authentic or to the restaurant's ability to satisfy our picky palates.

When our bellies are full it's off to the beach. The Sian Kaan is not right off the beach, which initially when I was doing my research caused me to overlook the resort. However, thanks to my travel agent Laurie and Tripadvisor.com, I learned that the beach is only a 5-minute tram ride away. We only have to wait a minute or so before the extended golf cart that is our ride pulls up in the driveway of the lobby.

"Sian Kaan beach!" calls the driver. We board the tram and away we go. Our resort is actually across the highway from its sisters, but a bridge has been built over the road so that getting to the beach (and the other resorts) is quick and easy. As we ride I let all the anxiety of the day slip away and just enjoy the ride, the jungle breeze, and the warm sun. It's good to be back in Mexico!
                                                                                               
We are dropped off at the Sian Kaan private beach, which is distinguished by its black recliner chairs. We grab some towels and a margarita at our beach bar and go find a few empty chairs. Our view is exquisite and I just can't get enough. The mixture of blues and greens and blue-greens of the water set against the backdrop of the blue Caribbean sky is breathtaking. The sun is strong here and it does a good job of warming me to the bone. I could lay here all day and soak it up (and I will over the next week), but I want to get into that water!

I am struck by how cold the water is. It's definitely not as cold as our Lake Michigan but it sure isn't the bathwater warm I was expecting. There are lots of coral rocks in the water so we have to be careful of our footing. Some reviews on Tripadvisor had warned us about this (some made it sound like the beach was unusable because of this), but it's not a deal breaker to us. Once we are out deeper in the water the rocks taper off to fine sand.

I am enjoying the feel of the cool salt water against my hot skin and the relaxing sound of the waves when out of the corner of my eye I see a giant fish swim by. I swear it's about 1.5 feet long and has large fins. Anyone who knows me knows that one of my greatest fears is fish - I just don't like sharing a space with them, but I try not to get too freaked out. However, as it swims by me on the way to a man who has breadcrumbs, I get a little panicked and jump on Jeff's back. From now on I will steer clear of anyone who feeds the fish.

6:30 p.m.
We are showered and ready to go to dinner. I'm a little surprised that I'm not tired yet. Perhaps the cat nap that I had on the bus helped to take the edge off, or perhaps the combination of sun and sea was that invigorating. We discovered that neither of us gets cell phone service and so can't call the boys, but we are close enough to the lobby to be able to piggyback onto their wi-fi. I send a quick e-mail to everyone letting them know we arrived safe and sound, then we head to the lobby to catch our tram.

We are dining tonight at Tequila, the only Mexican-themed restaurant in the complex. I'm hoping to get some authentic cuisine. I order chicken mole with mexican rice and Jeff orders the pork medallions with orange sauce. While we wait for our food to arrive we sip on margaritas and listen to an in-house mariachi band. They eventually travel over to our table and sing us a song. Soon our food arrives. It is good but not anything different that that I couldn't get back home.

After dinner we make our way over to the Tulum resort's ampitheater to check out the evening entertainment. It's an acrobatic show made up of 5 people - a Mexican version of a circus family troupe? We are amazed most by the older woman whose thighs are so muscular they look like they could crush someone. The feats these people do are amazing but the performance is slow and kind of flat. Certainly not Vegas-style entertainment. We then go check out the other nightlife in the Hacienda Dona Isabel, a complex that houses shops, a few bars, and a disco that opens at midnight. It's only 10:00 so nothing's really going on yet.

The day of travel is beginning to wear on us and we're getting tired so we head back to our resort. We arrive just in time to catch the last few tunes by the man/woman duo who sings lounge-type music at the outdoor bar in the lobby. We sit through an ABBA song and a Whitney Houston song before deciding the music is not really our style. We bought Ipod speakers at the airport via a Best Buy automatic kiosk and can entertain ourselves with better music in our room!

It's been a long day. On tomorrow's agenda is nothing but catching some rays and swimming in the ocean. And perhaps trying out some of those beach drinks with cool names like Coco Banana and El Mar!!