Meet Nicholas the 4-year-old

It was a cloudy morning on October 20, 2005, as Nicholas Jeffrey slipped into this world, loudly proclaiming himself present with cries and wails fit for a tiny warrior. Even though his labor was much shorter and less painful than his older brother's, his entrance made me pause. He seemed angry, and this reaction is not what I had been expecting from this child that I had nurtured and carried with joy inside my womb.

"This one's going to give me a run for my money," I thought to myself.

Four years later I can tell you with an emphatic "OH YEAH!" that I was right. Boy, was I ever.

Right from the get go he knew what he wanted and would only settle for that one thing: ME. Daddy wouldn't do, Grandma wouldn't do, Grandpa wouldn't do. Only mom. When Michael was an infant I could leave him with almost anyone and run to the store just to get out of the house and he would be just as happy when I returned as when I left. Not Nicholas. He would begin crying when I left and when I got back he would be screaming, his poor little face beet red and flooded with tears. Needless to say, I didn't get out much when he was little. Wait, what am I talking about? I didn't get out much for the first 3 years of his life!!


The first born, Michael, is laid back like me and responds pretty well to the limits we set for him. Sure, he would push the boundaries a little but only once or twice and then he would know that we meant what we said. Then along came the second born and caused me to change my whole style of parenting because what had worked so well with Michael didn't work for Nicholas.


And now this tiny warrior has turned 4 years old. Nicholas has grown from a very needy infant into a very needy yet independent preschooler. "I can do it myself (with a little help from you)" is his motto. Some days he wants to pick out his own clothes and get dressed all by himself and other days he will only get dressed if I do it for him (although he rarely likes the clothes choices I choose for him).


Nicholas doesn't accept "No" as an answer. He's a "my way or the highway" kind of kid. The other day he wanted to watch some TV. When I told him that he had already watched his quota for the day, he tried to bargain with me, stating that he wanted to watch a movie and that a movie wasn't TV.

"Yes it is, Nicholas, and you're not watching any more TV," I said firmly.

"But I want to watch a movie!" he exclaimed.

"No," I replied calmly.

"YES! I want to watch a movie!" he whined and began to cry.

"Nope, we're done with TV."

"I want to watch a movie!"

"I'm going to start counting, that's 1."

"Don't count!!!! I want to watch a movie!"

"That's 2," I said.

"Don't count I said!!!" he screamed, but then immediately said. "I want to watch a movie!"

I could tell he was probably working himself up to a huge temper tantrum but I held my ground. He must have asked me for a movie 20 times and carried on for 15 minutes before he realized that I wasn't going to give him any more television. And just like that he stopped crying and whining and said, "OK, let's go outside and play!"

Can you say Dr. Jeykll and Mr. Hyde personality? Never have I experienced this level of power struggle. Never did I ever imagine that one child could be so tenacious. I often find myself wondering just where on earth did this child come from? Did he really come out of my womb?

Lucky for Nicholas though, he is a very cute and charming kid and keeps us entertained. There's never a dull moment with him around, that's for sure. As his preschool teachers could tell you, you never know who Nicholas is going to be when he wakes up in the morning. Sometimes he is an evil Stormtrooper from Star Wars, or Captain Rex the good clone trooper. Other times he's Batman or Duke from GI Joe. Don't call him Nicholas either because he'll snap at you "My name's not Nicholas, it's Stormtrooper/Captain Rex/Duke!" (Even his classmates have started calling him Stormtrooper or even worse, calling themselves Stormtrooper!) And don't ask him what he did at school today because he'll emphatically insist that it's not preschool it's Spiderman World!!


Both of my kids have inherited the silly gene from their parents but I think Nicholas is destined to be the class clown. Just the other day he took a McDonald's Happy Meal box and wore it on his head as a hat, using the golden arches of the M as eye holes.

One day during the summer we were talking about his birthday. I asked him what kind of birthday he wanted to have. He replied with a smile, "A pooping pumpkin party!" I just about fell out of my seat. Where does he get this stuff? And when asked the next day what kind of party he was going to have he said, "Actually I changed my mind. I'm going to have a Star Wars/snake/halloween/pooping pumpkin party." What?!!

Luckily by the time his birthday did roll around I was able to convince him to have just a pumpkin party. I planned a few games centered around the pumpkin theme. The first game was "Pass the Pumpkin," which is played like "Hot Potato" but with a pumpkin. Do you think that the birthday boy wanted to play?

"Nicholas," I said to him, "Come play the game with your friends."

"No! I don't want to play any games!" he screamed and ran up the stairs to his room where he slammed the door. He eventually came out and did participate in a few games, but only on his own terms.

The simplest things can make him happy. Just today we spent 45 minutes playing with a single blown up balloon, making up games such as "Don't let the balloon land on the ground," and "Balloon Football," and "How many times can you clap before you have to catch the balloon?" Nicholas has a roomful of new toys from his birthday but none has captured his lasting attention as this balloon did today.

When he's in the zone he can be the most loving and caring child. He's quick to say he loves you and gives the best smackeroo kisses (although don't ever ask him to give you a big smacker because he might just haul off and hit you!). He and his brother have the most special bond and I hope they are able to maintain it as they grow older.


Life with Nicholas is full of ups and downs and upside downs (and that's just the first hour of the day!) and he certainly keeps me on my toes. What a long, trying, overwhelming, interesting, dare I say wonderful 4 years it's been! Who knows what the next 4 years will bring but I can assure you that they will be filled with perseverance and tenacity and strength and joy and love.