The Case Against Kindergarten

When I gave birth to my second son Nicholas in late October of 2005, my mom, an early childhood educator, warned me that my husband and I would have a tough choice to make when it was time for him to go to kindergarten. "In my profession we often recommend to parents of children with fall birthdays to wait a year before kindergarten so they have that extra time to mature and grow," she told me.

As I looked down at my newborn I couldn't imagine what he would be like in one year, much less 5 years. That seemed so far away and I said that we'd just have to cross that bridge when we came to it.

Well, now it's almost 5 years later and it is indeed time to cross that bridge. My mom was right: we have a big decision to make - to send Nicholas to kindergarten in the fall or wait a year and send him to a young five or pre-kindergarten program first.


Up until about a month ago I had always thought that Nicholas would follow this year of preschool with a year in a young five program before he went to kindergarten. Although he is very smart (he knows his abc's, how to spell his first and last name, can count to 20, recognizes most of his letters), he was behind in his fine motor skills and had no interest in drawing, coloring, or cutting, which are important skills to have under your belt when you enter kindergarten.

But then out of the blue he began to draw pictures and write his name. My husband and I began to wonder if maybe he would be ready for kindergarten in the fall after all. And so I began my quest for knowledge on the subject. I spoke to friends and teachers, researched information on the internet, and read books on the subject.

My elder son, Michael, is in first grade so I already know that kindergarten is not what it was when I began school many, many years ago. Kindergarten used to be an introduction into schooling: full of playtime, snacks, learning how to be social, and the learning of letters. Now kindergarten is much, much more.

Today's kindergarten is more demanding on the children than it used to be: each kindergartener is expected to know most of his/her letters before entering school, playtime is limited, and reading and math are a daily part of the curriculum. The amount of time spent in kindergarten has increased as well. Many schools have replaced the weekly half-day kindergarten classes with all-day every day kindergarten in order to fit all the requirements in.

Is it any wonder then, that, according to a 2007 New York Times article (When Should a Kid Start Kindergarten?, Elizabeth Weir), "nationwide, teachers now report that 48 percent of incoming kindergarteners have difficulty handling the demands of school"? It's enough to scare the pants off of any parent who has a child who is of kindergarten age. Like me.

Thanks to the "No Child Left Behind Act" and the standardized testing requirements that schools must follow, the whole entire educational system has ramped up. Today's kindergarten curriculum is what was taught in first grade only a decade ago, which means that what used to be taught in second grade is now taught in first grade, and so on. Along with the increased curriculum is the appearance of homework in elementary school. I am amazed at the amount of homework I hear about from friends with children in 3rd or 4th grades. I don't remember having any homework until I hit junior high school.

Maybe if smarts was the only considering factor I would send Nicholas to kindergarten next year without regret. But my research showed that being academically ready was not always a reason to send a child, especially a boy, to kindergarten.

One factor to consider is that boys mature later than girls and may have a hard time with the sitting and focusing that kindergarten requires. The book Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph suggests that boys would do better in school if they started later. Biddulph states, "At the age of six or seven, when children start serious schooling, boys are six to twelve months less developed mentally than girls." He goes on to say that boys are also delayed in fine-motor coordination, which is the ability to hold a pencil and cut with scissors.

Michael’s first grade teacher says that a young boy beginning school too soon when he is not age appropriate is going to have struggles both academically and behaviorally. "Students who come to school and are young do have more struggles than the student who is age appropriate for the grade," she says. "Boys especially struggle as they mature less quickly than girls and usually benefit from time if they can wait a year before beginning school. Usually a young male student will struggle both academically and behaviorally because they just aren't ready for the structure of the academic classroom. It's also difficult for them socially because they don't have the social skills to interact with their peers."

Case in point: Mary, a friend of mine, has two boys born two years apart. Both boys have October birthdays. The firstborn, Ben, was held back a year in a young five program, while the second born, Jack, was not and started kindergarten while he was still 4. Mary tells me that although Ben was academically ready for kindergarten, having that extra year was the best decision for him.

For Jack it is a different story. Mary admits that they should have held Jack back another year before starting him in kindergarten. "Jack is so smart," she says, "however, it is the maturation issues that he struggles with. He is always the youngest in his class and with boys that makes a huge difference!"

I’m no stranger to having a “youngish” child in school. When Michael started kindergarten, he was academically ready and since he had a June birthday we didn't consider not sending him. However, his first grade teacher has told us that he often exhibits "young" behavior and has trouble focusing and staying on task. I think had he been a later birthday we might have benefited from holding him back. Academically he did well in kindergarten but I know that he struggled maturity wise – crying when tired or frustrated, not participating in circle time (I observed this a lot when I volunteered), not finishing work, and not focusing.

As it turns out, I'm not the only one with this dilemma. Today while waiting for preschool to finish a few moms and I began to discuss whether or not we were sending our children to kindergarten in the fall.

The consensus was similar: those of us who had children with fall birthdays weren't sure what to do. One child will be 5 in September. His mom was told by his preschool teachers that he is not ready for kindergarten. Another mom with a girl whose birthday is one day after Nicholas told me that she is debating whether to send her daughter. This woman also has a younger son born October 12 and she already knows that she will be holding him back a year.

I learned from another parent that this is her son's second year in this preschool class; although he is 5 (he will be six in October) she chose not to put him in the young 5 class this year because she thought he just needed to learn to mature more. She says that now she regrets not putting him into the young 5 class because the 4-year old preschool doesn't focus on writing and letter recognition like the young 5 program.

For all of us one issue kept coming up: cost. To hold a child back a year and put him or her into a young 5 program in our district will cost $292 per month, or almost $3,000 per year. Placing the same child into kindergarten is free, although if the child is not yet ready there may be emotional costs for both parent and child for years.

For me and my husband there is no clear cut solution to the issue. Even though Nicholas's preschool teachers gave him the green light for kindergarten during conferences last week I still have my doubts as to whether he will be ready when September rolls around. Nicholas has made big strides in the past 6 months of preschool and who knows how much growth he will achieve in the next six. However, I still have my reservations for several reasons:

* If we send him he'll be one of the youngest in his class. In the short run this might not be a big deal, but in the long run it might mean more: with an October birthday he will enter middle school (6th grade) at age 10, high school (9th grade) while he's still 13, he'll be one of the last of his peers to get his driver's license (11th grade), and he will go off to college while he's still 17! Will he have acquired the maturity to be able to handle the peer pressure he encounters at these stages?

* Only a year ago he was having tantrums that lasted an hour or more. These tantrums were triggered by a number of factors, such as being overly tired or over stimulated. Over the last year we've seen these tantrums lessen but they still do appear. And what is all-day kindergarten but tiring and stimulating?

* He is still really attached to me. His separation anxiety is not what it was at the beginning of preschool, but in any unfamiliar situation he likes to be cautious and he likes me to be there to transition him. This may resolve itself in the next six months but if it doesn't we might have one ugly start to the next 13 years of schooling.

*As he matures and becomes less needy we are really starting to have a great relationship and have a lot of fun together. I don't feel ready to give my youngest son over to the school system quite just yet, even though it would mean I would have more time for myself and my creative pursuits.

It seems like the evidence says to wait a year before starting Nicholas in kindergarten, but my husband says to keep an open mind. And so I will. I only want what’s best for my son, but what that is right now I’m not sure. Only time will tell.