Hi Ho Hi Ho, Back To School Shopping We Shall Go!

It's 9:30 a.m. on a cloudy, cool August morning. I'm in the car with the boys en route to Kohl's where I'm hoping we can begin and finish all our school shopping. I know it's a very ambitious goal, but Early Bird sales started this morning and I've got a 30% discount coupon, so bring on the savings!!!

Neither of the boys are particularly interested in getting new clothes (especially Nicholas because he hates trying them on) but they are very excited to get new shoes. Well, Nicholas is. He wants to find some "cool" shoes, whatever that means. Michael has been told that he has to get tie shoes this year. I would think that he would be embarrassed that his brother learned to tie his shoes before him, but, being part of the "velcro generation," he doesn't really care and remains loyal to the fuzzy fasteners.

We hit the clothes department first. The boys hightail it to the graphic t-shirt rack filled with all their favorites: Ninjago, Mario, Star Wars, and Angry Birds. After my discount the shirts will be about $5 each. It feels good to say yes when they ask me if they can get two shirts. My heart drops when Nicholas sees an Amazing Orange t-shirt and goes beserk: "Amazing Orange!!! I've always wanted this t-shirt! Can I get it Mom?!!" We look for his size and I am secretly relieved when we can't find it: it is a pretty obnoxious shirt.

We move on to the age 4-7 racks, where we find a plethora of shirts and pants that Nicholas is agreeable to. I like them also because they will end up costing about $6 each. Nicholas spots some grey and white camouflage pants that he likes. I find a 7 and grab a few more pairs in different colors. Same thing with shirts and sweat pants and soon my bag is full and we are done with him.

In the size 8-20 arena it's a different story. There are no $6 deals and I am hard pressed to find any $10 deals. All the clothes are Tony Hawk brand and Michael doesn't like them (only because that's what his brother is into and God forbid that they like the same thing!!).

As we search for jeans I realize that 9 year old boys have been gypped: manufacturers don't make pants for 9 year olds! The size range is 7, 8, and then 10/12. The size 8's are too small for Michael and the 10/12's are too big so we give up on jeans. We find a few shirts that he likes and then move on to shoes.

Nicholas immediately makes a bee-line straight for the Tony Hawk high-tops. "Mom, I want these!! These are the cool shoes I want!" he shrieks, holding up a pair of turquoise blue and yellow shiny high top shoes.  I'm not so thrilled. Nicholas doesn't need high tops - what he needs is an all-around pair of sneakers to run around in. I point out to him that these particular shoes have double the laces and would be really hard to manage. Wouldn't he like some nice yellow and black running shoes instead?  He shakes his head and whines, this stubborn boy of mine. Someday this trait of his that allows him to hold his ground so well will be a great asset, but right now it's wearing me out.

I tell him to wander the aisles and see if there's another pair of shoes that he might be interested in and move onto Michael who is pouting because I'm making him get tie shoes. I ask him if he's seen anything he likes.

"Yeah, I want those Skechers but you won't let me because they're not tie shoes. You never let me get anything I want!!" he whines. I picture a cartoon balloon above my head and think to myself, "Can I get some cheese with that whine?" I steer him to the aisles and he picks out a pair of nice, reasonably priced shoes. Then he has to put on his socks, which brings up another round of complaints. He finally gets one shoe on and immediately decides he doesn't like it because it feels weird.

I can see that we are not going to find shoes at Kohl's. Famous Footwear is a few stores down and they are having a BOGO (Buy One Get One half off) sale so I announce that we're going to try there next.

We check out, put the bag in the car, and head off to Famous Footwear. This time it is Michael that makes a bee-line to a shoe. It's a cool-looking neon yellow tie shoe but it costs $61, which is not in my budget. Michael gives me the "I can't-ever-get-what-I-want" schtik again and I've reached my limit.

"We're leaving," I announce abruptly, take the shoe from Michael's hand and put it back, and march toward the exit.

"Have a nice day," trills an employee.

"Yeah, right," I grumble to myself. Next time Jeff can take them shoe shopping.

----

Later that night as I'm putting our purchases away I have Nicholas try on his clothes just to make sure they fit. The sweat pants fit fine but he can't even get the camo pants over his butt they're so tight. It's the same story with half of his shirts too.

"Ugh!" I moan, discouraged that I have to return half of the good deals I found today. I rewind in my head to earlier in the day to see if I can remember if I saw any 7X sizes. If not, this will be the end of our school shopping at Kohl's forever because I am not too impressed with the selection that I saw in the older boys' section.

Anyway, I'm not ready to have two boys in older boys' clothing. That would mean that they're growing up, and I'm not ready to accept that just quite yet!!

School's out for summer!!!

We interrupt this blog about Mexico (really, I AM working on Part 3!!!) for a special end of school message:


Sigh. Today is the last day of school. In two and one-half hours my precious alone/free time will be over for 80 days and replaced with beach time, board games, picnics, trips to the park, and (I'm sure) endless sibling conflict resolution. While I'll be glad not to have to play the morning hustle every morning (you know how it goes - wake the kids up 4 times, make breakfast, pack lunches, make sure library books/folders are in backpacks, remind them 10 times to focus on getting teeth brushed and shoes on, and run out the door with one minute to spare shouting "GO GO GO!!!"), I'm not quite yet ready for school to be over.

Nicholas has had a banner year, partly thanks to his wonderful Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. N, and partly because we kept him back a year. I am proud to boast that he is at the top of his class in reading, writing, and math, is emotionally well-adjusted, a popular student (especially with the ladies), and loves going to school. His fine motor skills greatly increased too and he is now a kid that loves to draw and color and create, which is something he never liked to do before kindergarten.

For all the hours that Jeff and I spent debating the pros and cons of sending him to kindergarten when he was almost 6 as opposed to when he was almost 5, this year proved that we did the right thing. I did a lot of volunteering in the classroom and I noticed that many of the younger students just had a hard time adjusting - kindergarten is a fast-paced environment with a lot to learn. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if a few of them repeated kindergarten next year. I also found it interesting that there was a big chunk of boys in his class that turned six just about the same time he did in October - great moms think alike!

Michael had a great year too. He earned all A's in every subject for all four quarters, most of the time with 100% or better! He's still a great reader (he just finished inhaling the first Harry Potter book). What I'm most proud about him though is that he has made great strides in his writing, which is his least favorite subject. Writing has always been a struggle for him because he has trouble thinking of ideas. Thanks to his great 3rd grade teacher who has given him some great tools (and rather advanced ones - I didn't learn these until I was in 5th or 6th grade), Michael no longer complains when he has a writing assignment. Maybe he'll take after his mom after all and learn to love to write!

I am reluctant to let go of these great teachers that have brought my sons so far, in particular Mrs. N., who both boys had for kindergarten. She is such a great teacher and I am sad that this is the end of the road for the Byrnes family - I don't have any more kids who will ever have her. But, it's time for the kids to move on to 1st and 4th grades and I guess I have to accept it. Yet,I wish I could keep them this age for a few more years.

My year was great too and that's partly why I'm sad to see it end. I have worked really hard to write my children's book and it is now a work in progress instead of just an idea. Lately life has taken over (birthdays, family, end-of-school activities, etc.) and I haven't had much time to write, but hopefully I will be able to start again soon. Maybe I won't have the total peace and quiet writing time that I have had while the boys were in school, but video game background noise can't be that distracting can it?

Mexico we go 2012 - Part 2

April 22, 2012

Today is our third day in Mexico. Yesterday we achieved the status of beach bums and spent most of the time in the sun and the water. We discovered that one of the beach bars has swings around it and spent some time there swinging in the warm breeze, listening to the sounds of the waves break on the shore, and sipping our drinks. Those Coco Banana drinks are very tasty and nutritious - they have a real banana in them!

Today is our big adventure day. We are going on the Coba Maya Encounter Adventure tour run by Alltournative Offtrack Adventures, an ecotourism company. I have been eyeballing this tour ever since I read about it in a travel guidebook. During the tour you visit the Coba ruins, then are taken to an authentic Mayan village where you will rappel into a cenote (underground sinkhole pool), go ziplining over a lake, canoe through a lagoon, and eat an authetnic meal prepared by the Mayan women.

I love going to ancient sites and the Yucatan is full of them - Chichzen Itza, Tulum, El Balak, Uxmal, and Coba are some of the most popular Mayan ruins in the area. I've been to Chichen Itza and Tulum so Coba is a must for this trip. The Chichen Itza tour I took 13 years ago was a very grand affair. We took a huge air-conditioned tour bus to the ruins, got to swim in a very large cenote, stopped at a small village so we could purchase "authentic" souvenirs, and stopped at another village for dinner. Although I was totally in awe of Chichen Itza,  the tour was a little too touristy for me. On this trip I want to participate in something a little more intimate.

From what I've read on the Alltournative website, this tour will meet my requirements: the tour groups are limited to 12 people and they pick you up from your hotel in a small van. I've never been rapelling or ziplining before (neither has Jeff) and it would be great to knock those off my bucket list! Plus, I like the mission of Alltournative: to help various Mayan communities in Quintana Roo become self-sustaining and thus allow them to preserve their land and heritage.

Our Alltournative tour van picks us up in front of the lobby at 8:45 a.m. Our tour guide is a pretty young woman from Guadalajara named Isa. I'm a little dismayed to find out that most of our tour group speaks French. Not a deal breaker for me but I was hoping to make some friends on this outing. Plus, Isa will have to give us information in both French and English - I hope that she doesn't leave anything out because her voice gets tired!

Being in Mexico one would assume that you would hear a lot of Spanish being spoken. I studied Spanish in high school and college so although it is a little rusty I manage to understand quite a bit (and speak it too when I'm not afraid of making a mistake!). Not here though. One thing that Jeff and I noticed yesterday is that there are a lot of French-speaking people at our resort. On the beach we were surrounded by French speakers. Visitors from the US are far and few between. Canadians by far dominated the resort - many from Montreal-Quebec, others from the west side of Canada.

So we are not surprised to find out that our fellow English speaking travel companions are from Canada. As we drive to Coba Isa tells us about the history of the Yucatan pensinsula and about the flora and fauna of the region. I learn that one cup of water from a cenote contains as much calcium as 8 glasses of milk. This is due to the predominance of limestone that leaches into the water from the ground. This fact amazes me and I cannot wait to soak up that calcium during my cenote swim. I wonder if osteoporosis even exists here!

Coba is located about 30 minutes inland from the coast at Tulum. When we arrive we join another Alltournative group and are assigned a Coba tour guide named Juan who is of Mayan descent. He divides us into two groups, English on the right and French on the left. He is a wonderful guide - so full of information about the Mayan people and the Coba site. He's got quite a good sense of humor too.

Juan tells us that nearly 50,000 Mayans occupied Coba from 400 to 1100 AD. The heydays of Tulum (1200-1500AD) and Chichen Itza (625-925AD) took place much later, making Coba one of the oldest sites in the area. He tells us that although the site encompasses nearly 50 square miles, only one percent of its 6,000 structures have been excavated.

Riding a Mexican limo through Coba

Coba's claim to fame is its main pyramid, Nococh Mul or "large hill", which, at 138 feet, is the tallest in the Yucatan. After talking with us for 45 minutes, Juan sets us free in the jungle in search of this pyramid. We will only have about an hour to see Nococh Mul and the rest of the structures so we opt to take a "Mexican limousine" there. I am excited about climbing the pyramid. I climbed Chichen Itza's most awesome Temple of Kulkulkan (El Castillo) when I was there in 1998. I discover that I am lucky - not many people will be able to say they have climbed both since the government closed El Castillo off to climbers in 2006 and they may soon do the same with Nococh Mul.

Nococh Mul does indeed loom large out of the jungle, a massive tower of limestone bricks. Jeff looks a little unsure about climbing it but I start ascending right away. I always joke that I'm part jackrabbit and I guess it's true. I have no fear of heights and soon I am halfway up.

At the top I turn and look at the vast expanse of jungle laid out before me, broken only by the top of a ruin. The view is magnificent and I can see for miles.

Ball court

The oval temple

The other structures pale in comparison to Nococh Mul, although the ball courts are pretty impressive. We could have easily spent another couple hours exploring the ruins but our tour needs to continue on. Next stop, the Mayan village of Pac Chen.

The drive to Pac Chen is long and bumpy. Although it is only 15 miles from Coba, the road is unpaved and slow-going. While we drive, Isa maps out the rest of our day: first we will participate in a Mayan purification ceremony, rappel into a cenote, zipline, canoe, and then have lunch. Lunch? I think. It is now about 12:00, which is lunchtime by my watch and I am hungry. I regret not bringing any snacks.

Pac Chen is a traditional Mayan village of 125 people that, according to Fodor's website, has no running water or electricity (although I do see a few satellite dishes and wonder if that claim is true). The people live in thatch huts. Isa tells us that they sleep in traditional hammocks. The village's main source of income is the money generated by the tours that Alltournative brings through (only 80 people per day are allowed into the village).

When we arrive we are led to a hut with lockers. Isa advises the group to leave our backpacks in the lockers. I take my camera anyway. Rappelling and ziplining are once-in-a-lifetime things for me and there is no way that I'm not going to take the opportunity to document them!

Our adventure in Pac Chen begins with a 20-minute hike through the jungle. Isa is a fast walker so there is no time to linger and take it all in as I'd like. We arrive at a cleared area where a Mayan elder stands in front of an altar. In the air I smell the sweet scent of copal, a resin-like substance that is burned like incense and used in purification ceremonies.

Isa tells us that the elder is going to purify us before we go into the cenote. She says that the cenote is sacred to the village and they don't want any negative energies or entities to enter it. We stand and the elder begins the ceremony. He speaks in Mayan but I catch the intent of what he's saying. He is praying to the Mayan gods, the 4 directions, to above and below. He lights a sage-like herb and makes the Mayan cross in front of each of us. I don't know about anyone else but when he is done I feel lighter.


Now it's time to put on the rappelling equipment. We are all given harnesses to put on, then Isa demonstrates how we are going to make our way into the cenote. I look down into the cenote. The water is the most beautiful water I have ever seen - even more brilliant than the ocean by our resort. It looks like a turquoise gem.

I'm not really nervous but I still don't want to be the first one to go. Two men volunteer to go first. They make it look so easy that Jeff and I want to be next. Isa hooks our harness onto a large rope. We are told to hold the connected end with our right hand and the slack end with our left. To go lower we only need to slowly let up the slack end.

Sounds easy, right? It actually is. Soon we are at the bottom and are transferred to large, black inner tubes. The water is not as cold as I would have thought. It's refreshing, like Lake Michigan is refreshing (at least it is to me!), and feels good on my hot, damp skin. The tone inside the cenote is reverent and quiet. I see bats flit to and fro. I hear the rhythm of stalactites as their condensation drips into the pool, plink, plink, plink. Small black catfish swim around me and I try not to be bothered.

When we are all sufficiently refreshed, Isa tells us how to get out of the cenote. There are two ways: one is by climbing a ladder and one is via the "Mexican elevator", which essentially involves being pulled up and out of the cenote. I am feeling adventurous so I choose to climb the ladder. It's a long way up but I feel like I can handle the climb. Jeff opts for the elevator.

Next up is ziplining! We keep our harnesses on and hike a short way to what looks like a small lake. In actuality it is an open cenote. One by one we don our helmets. I want to be one of the last to go in order to watch Jeff. When it is my turn Isa helps me hook my harness to the zipline. She counts down from three and away I go! It is a thrilling feeling to be flying through the jungle. All too soon it is over. I wish I could have another turn as I was too focused on not losing my shorts (which were tucked into my harness) and trying to prevent from turning backwards.

Our last activity before we eat is to canoe the lagoon. Jeff and I both agree that we'd be happy to skip this activity because we are so tired and hungry, but everyone participates and so do we. The lagoon is pretty - the water is a yellowish-green in spots and the trees are very verdant. I do keep an eye out for crocodiles since they live on the lagoon.

Now for the food!!! We are ushered into a mid-size hut. There are two tables that run the length of the hut and at the front is a table with hot food being laid out on it by two young Mayan girls. Isa explains what the dishes are. There is chicken in achiote (a red colored herb), rice and beans, squash empenadas, salsa, spaghetti, and vegetables such as carrots, jicama, cucumbers and tomatoes. There is also hot vegetable soup made from carrots, potatoes, and cabbage. I try some of everything except for the spaghetti, since I can get that at home. Everything is delicious, especially the soup. Isa said that we could have seconds if we wish but the next tour group enters before I can do so, which is a little disappointing.

This is the end of our tour. We toast it with a tequila shot and then crowd into the van. It has been a long day full of adventure and exercise and soon the motion of the van lulls me to sleep.

Stay tuned for Part 3, where Jeff and I go exploring outside the resort on our own!

Mexico we go 2012 - Part one

April 20, 2012

It's 6:00 a.m. and I'm on a plane bound for Dallas. Jeff is sitting beside me getting settled in. The kids are (hopefully) still sleeping, snuggled in their bed at Grandma and Grandpa's house, which will be their home for the next seven days. Dallas is not our final stop. Once we are there we will quickly change planes and fly on to the Cancun airport. That still is not our final destination. We are headed to the Riviera Maya so we will have to take a van ride 1.5 hours south of Cancun. It's a long day of travel, especially since we had to get up this morning at 2:45 a.m. to get to the airport by the required 2 hours ahead of time, but hopefully we will still get to enjoy a little sunshine today!

Why are we headed to Mexico? Jeff and I never really had a honeymoon so we decided to go all out to celebrate our 10th anniversary this year. After a lot of research and debates on the safety of Mexico we decided on an all-inclusive resort in Akumal, Quintana Roo. It's our first all-inclusive - our method of travel usually tends to be the off-the-beaten-path kind - but for the price (and the safety) we couldn't pass it up.

I try to sleep but I forgot my travel pillow and am not very comfortable. Plus, I have a little travel anxiety. This is only our second trip without the boys and I am always very anxious about being up in the air. Every time we touch down is a relief. I don't like to think about the big "What if?" that all parents must face when they leave their children behind on vacation, but I do. We have taken every precaution so the kids are protected in case something were to happen to us.

I think of them now as the clouds pass by my window. We tucked them in last night at Grandma's house so the last thing they felt before they went to bed was our arms hugging them tight and our lips kissing them on their cheeks. Nicholas had his moment the night before - he cried and clung to me when I laid down with him. He didn't want us to leave him. Michael seemed alright with us leaving, so much so that I told him to give his brother some extra loving for us. Before we left I placed a family photo into each of the boys' lunchboxes, wrote a special message on the back, and sealed it with a lipstick kiss. I hope this is enough to get them through the week.

2:30 pm (central time)
We are driving along Highway 307 in Quintana Roo, Mexico, getting closer to our resort in the town of Akumal. After spending 5 hours on a plane, close to one hour in the line for customs, and another on the bus, Jeff and I are both ready to just get there already! We are famished since there was no food served on our plane and we didn't have time to grab a bite to eat in between flights. All we have had to eat today is a banana and a granola bar. When we landed the clouds were dark and heavy. They have since let loose with very heavy rain. I hope this is not a foreshadowing of what our weather will be like while we're here.

The road that we're traveling on is flanked with billboards in Spanish and a tiny hut/house/business here and there. Every so often, however, something gigantic springs up to announce yet another resort - letters, pyramids, fountains, etc. Our resort is one of the last on the strip, yet I am still amazed when I see this giant arched wall loom ahead announcing that we have arrived at the Gran Bahia Principe complex of resorts (and because I am unprepared I don't have my camera ready to take a picture of it).

The sun peeks out as we make our way to the lobby of our resort - the Gran Bahia Principe Sian Kaan, the newest one of four in the complex. We are greeted by a bellhop dressed all in white and wearing a Banana-Republic style hat. He takes our luggage and directs us to the front desk where we are greeted with a friendly "Hola!" by the concierge. We are given a white envelope that contains our dinner reservations (which I made beforehand) and our room keys. He shows us a map of the resort and explains that, as guests of the exclusive Sian Kaan, we have the privilege of eating at any of the other three resorts (Coba, Akumal, and Tulum) as well as our own. Our resort has its' own private beach too but we can use any of the other resorts' beaches too. Since it's an all-inclusive we can eat and drink as much as we want.

We follow the bellhop to our room. According to the hotel website the Sian Kaan is a smaller, more modern  property than its sister resorts. I've yet to see the other resorts up close but so far the website is correct. The whole lobby area is open with a sit-down bar to the right and an open air bar to the left. The buildings house three stories of rooms - the top floor has its own penthouse with jacuzzi tub, the middle floor has a small balcony, and the bottom floor has a jacuzzi tub cleverly hidden by tall palms. The architecture of the buildings is not what you'd expect in Mexico - the buildings are simply white stucco with wooden vigas. They look pretty against the (now) blue sky though.

Our buidling is near the lobby and across from one of the three pools, but our room faces the "jungle" so it has a lot of privacy. On the bed sits intertwined towels in the shape of two swans - an example of the exquisite towel art that I had heard about on Tripadvisor.com. There'll be lots of time for unpacking later. Right now food is our number one priority. We quickly change out of our grubby travel clothes and into our bathing suits and coverup and make our way to the buffet restaurant.

This buffet is like no other buffet I've ever been to in my life. The area of food that's available is seriously as big as the main floor of my ranch house back in Michigan. There's a sushi bar, hot entrees like chicken and pork, Mexican specialties, rice, beans, fruit, breads, and a dessert aisle that goes on forever! I don't want to go too overboard because it's so late in the day and our dinner reservation is just 4 short hours away. I opt for the Mexican chicken dish and fill my plate with rice, corn chips, lots of fresh guacamole, and salsa.

Jeff at the buffet

Jeff and I sit down and fill ourselves with the first real sustenance we've had all day. The food is so good and I'm not just saying that because I'm so hungry! In Mexico I find that there's no such thing as mild salsa and even medium is hard to find. I tried the Salsa Molcajate, which is a chunky mixture of tomatoes, onions, and peppers. It gives me hiccups right away because one of the peppers I ate is a habanero. Luckily I have plenty of guacamole to cool my palate. Jeff cools his mouth with lots of Mexican beer, the Dos XX kind that is served at our resort. The guacamole here is fresh and tasty. I'm famous for my homemade guacamole and Jeff thinks that this is as good as mine! I'm not sure if this is a testament to my guacamole being authentic or to the restaurant's ability to satisfy our picky palates.

When our bellies are full it's off to the beach. The Sian Kaan is not right off the beach, which initially when I was doing my research caused me to overlook the resort. However, thanks to my travel agent Laurie and Tripadvisor.com, I learned that the beach is only a 5-minute tram ride away. We only have to wait a minute or so before the extended golf cart that is our ride pulls up in the driveway of the lobby.

"Sian Kaan beach!" calls the driver. We board the tram and away we go. Our resort is actually across the highway from its sisters, but a bridge has been built over the road so that getting to the beach (and the other resorts) is quick and easy. As we ride I let all the anxiety of the day slip away and just enjoy the ride, the jungle breeze, and the warm sun. It's good to be back in Mexico!
                                                                                               
We are dropped off at the Sian Kaan private beach, which is distinguished by its black recliner chairs. We grab some towels and a margarita at our beach bar and go find a few empty chairs. Our view is exquisite and I just can't get enough. The mixture of blues and greens and blue-greens of the water set against the backdrop of the blue Caribbean sky is breathtaking. The sun is strong here and it does a good job of warming me to the bone. I could lay here all day and soak it up (and I will over the next week), but I want to get into that water!

I am struck by how cold the water is. It's definitely not as cold as our Lake Michigan but it sure isn't the bathwater warm I was expecting. There are lots of coral rocks in the water so we have to be careful of our footing. Some reviews on Tripadvisor had warned us about this (some made it sound like the beach was unusable because of this), but it's not a deal breaker to us. Once we are out deeper in the water the rocks taper off to fine sand.

I am enjoying the feel of the cool salt water against my hot skin and the relaxing sound of the waves when out of the corner of my eye I see a giant fish swim by. I swear it's about 1.5 feet long and has large fins. Anyone who knows me knows that one of my greatest fears is fish - I just don't like sharing a space with them, but I try not to get too freaked out. However, as it swims by me on the way to a man who has breadcrumbs, I get a little panicked and jump on Jeff's back. From now on I will steer clear of anyone who feeds the fish.

6:30 p.m.
We are showered and ready to go to dinner. I'm a little surprised that I'm not tired yet. Perhaps the cat nap that I had on the bus helped to take the edge off, or perhaps the combination of sun and sea was that invigorating. We discovered that neither of us gets cell phone service and so can't call the boys, but we are close enough to the lobby to be able to piggyback onto their wi-fi. I send a quick e-mail to everyone letting them know we arrived safe and sound, then we head to the lobby to catch our tram.

We are dining tonight at Tequila, the only Mexican-themed restaurant in the complex. I'm hoping to get some authentic cuisine. I order chicken mole with mexican rice and Jeff orders the pork medallions with orange sauce. While we wait for our food to arrive we sip on margaritas and listen to an in-house mariachi band. They eventually travel over to our table and sing us a song. Soon our food arrives. It is good but not anything different that that I couldn't get back home.

After dinner we make our way over to the Tulum resort's ampitheater to check out the evening entertainment. It's an acrobatic show made up of 5 people - a Mexican version of a circus family troupe? We are amazed most by the older woman whose thighs are so muscular they look like they could crush someone. The feats these people do are amazing but the performance is slow and kind of flat. Certainly not Vegas-style entertainment. We then go check out the other nightlife in the Hacienda Dona Isabel, a complex that houses shops, a few bars, and a disco that opens at midnight. It's only 10:00 so nothing's really going on yet.

The day of travel is beginning to wear on us and we're getting tired so we head back to our resort. We arrive just in time to catch the last few tunes by the man/woman duo who sings lounge-type music at the outdoor bar in the lobby. We sit through an ABBA song and a Whitney Houston song before deciding the music is not really our style. We bought Ipod speakers at the airport via a Best Buy automatic kiosk and can entertain ourselves with better music in our room!

It's been a long day. On tomorrow's agenda is nothing but catching some rays and swimming in the ocean. And perhaps trying out some of those beach drinks with cool names like Coco Banana and El Mar!!

Tales of a 3rd grade bullee*

*Bullee - One who is bullied

It is happening. One of my worst school fears. Michael is getting bullied.

Two days ago he came home from school and told me that some kids at school were teasing him during lunch.

"They were saying that I "liked" R," he said. "You know, like love kind of like." R is his best friend.

"They made me so mad that I started crying," he added.

I asked him if anyone around him did anything.

"U went and told the lunch lady. She told the kids that what they were doing is bullying and that she could take them to the principal's office. That made them stop."

I told him that I was very glad that someone stuck up for him and that I was glad that the lunch lady addressed the problem. Then we discussed ways to handle the situation if it happens again.

Fast forward two days to this morning. During breakfast Michael tells me that yesterday R was the object of the teasing. Same kid, different day.

"Well, did you stand up for him like U did for you?" I ask.

"No, but I will next time," Michael replies. I try not to lecture but I tell him that this is very important, not only to stand up for himself but for others who are being bullied. I know he's heard this before: at school, at karate, and from Jeff and I.

Then Michael adds a little more information. "Mom, they tease R and I all the time about being best friends. They sing 'Michael and R sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

I ask him who everyone is. He, of course, can't remember at first, but then he gives up a name. I know this kid. I know that he's bright and funny, yet is hyper and in 3rd grade already has the label of "troublemaker".

Jeff, who is home sick, jumps in and suggests that Michael diffuse the situation with kindness if it happens again. "Maybe he's jealous because you have a friend and he doesn't," says Jeff. "Next time ask him if he wants to play with you and R. Maybe that's all he needs."

Michael mulls this over. He thinks it's a good idea and says he will try it out. I wonder if he actually will. I think he suffers from the same disease that I do, which is that when faced with a conflict our words are eclipsed by our emotions and we fail to stick up for ourselves.

You see, I know where Michael is coming from. I too had a best friend in 3rd grade. Girls who were jealous of that friendship tried to bring me down by teasing. You know what? It worked.

I don't think I told anyone about the teasing, certainly not my parents. The fact of the matter is that I was afraid to speak up and I didn't know how to stick up for myself. As a result, the barrage of teasing and insults kept coming. Pretty soon my self-esteem was zero, and it remained that way for almost 20 years, extending way beyond childhood and into my adult years.

I don't want to see my kids go through what I had to go through as a child. No one should have to suffer teasing and bullying. It's effects can be life-altering and last a lifetime.

One of the most important things we can teach our children is how to stand up for themselves and to respect themselves and others. I am thankful that the schools are beginning to teach this in school. In fact, Michael's class was talked to about verbal bullying just a few weeks ago. What to do if you're bullied is becoming part of the kids' consciousness.

I am thrilled that Michael confided in me about this situation. I've heard many stories about "mean girls" in elementary school and have asked Michael many times if he ever witnessed or experienced bullying at school. Until this week he had always said that he hadn't.

It's always good to have an open line of communication with our children but I think it's especially important to do so now. Bullying has got to stop. Kids have got to know that words can do as much, if not more, damage as punches or kicks.

So I'm going to keep on the situation, being a nosy mom and asking questions until I'm blue in the face. Maybe instead of movie night or game night we'll initiate bully night at home and provide a pretend environment where the kids can run through different situations and practice what they would say to a bully.

I e-mailed Michael's teacher this morning to let her know of the situation. I told her that while I was hoping that Michael would handle the problem on his own I felt it was important for her to know what was going on. She responded that she would address the issue because "teasing is not tolerated and we will make sure it stops." Hurray!!!

I am mother. Hear me roar!!

Have you or your kids ever experienced bullying? How did you handle it? How did your kids handle it? I'd love to hear your stories!!!

Growing Pains

There's something going on with Michael. He's an emotional mess. Perhaps he's going through a growth spurt and maybe that's making him so crabby and tired, but I think there's more to it. There usually is.

Michael's been moping around with this sour look on his face for about a month now. He only seems to be happy when he's left alone to play with his Legos or read, or when he's playing with friends. When I ask him to do something like set the table or clean his room my requests are met with defiance or whining. Life with Michael has become a series of small battles and my patience is thinning, my frustration level is high, and I am sad because Michael and I are out of sorts with each other. 

Over the last year or so Jeff and I have increased Michael's duties around the house and assigned him chores. We feel that it will instill in him a sense of responsibility, help him understand limits and consequences, and help him feel like part of the family. At first he was excited about helping out, but as time went on he discovered that these chores interfered with his time to have fun. Now he's turned into a constant whiner.

Michael won't say what's wrong and he probably doesn't know why he is acting so poorly, but after much thinking on the issue, I think I have figured out the problem: Michael is stuck at a crossroad - independence vs. dependance. He wants to grow up and experience/do more, yet he doesn't want to let go of being a child. I can feel his yearning to need me less and less and do more things for himself, but at the same time I feel his reluctance to let go of being a little boy.

He's not alone. "Eight-year-olds will be proud of the fact that they are able to do many things on their own and will increasingly express a desire for privacy," says Michael Thompson, author of Raising and Understanding Boys. He adds, "At the same time, 8-year-old children will still need and want guidance and support from their parents."

This is so true. I remember when Michael was an infant, so tiny and small. I was responsible for fulfilling his every need - to feed him, to change his diaper, to put him to sleep, and to love him unconditionally. As he grew older, I was able to slowly give him more responsibility for these needs. First it was getting dressed - I remember the joy on his face when he mastered buttoning and zipping. Then came putting on his own shoes and socks, brushing his own teeth, reading his own bedtime stories, etc. Now that he's almost 9, he still needs me but in different ways: can you please find my library books, where is my cub scout shirt, can you make me a snack? 

Michael's need for privacy has certainly increased in the last year. He spends hours in his room reading or playing with Legos. And his social network has shifted as well - now his friends are beginning to be more important than his parents. (I knew this day was coming but I wasn't expecting it so soon.)

Michael has a best friend this year, a boy that lives on the far end of our neighborhood (meaning that our houses are not within easy walking distance). He always wants to play with him, like he can't seem to get enough of this boy. When he can't play, Michael gets really upset. 

I know this is not just happening in our house. According to Scholastic.com, friendships take on a greater importance in 3rd grade. An article on the site says that "between the ages of 8 and 9, children start acquiring new emotional and cognitive skills and see their peers in a different light. Child development experts agree that close friendships can be good for children for a number of reasons. They can provide shelter and protection from traumatic childhood experiences, teasing and rejection among them."

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by Michael's behavior for he is very much like me as a child. I remember when I was in third grade. My best friend and I wanted to play every day after school. Most days I think we did. However, back then we had more free time and less scheduling. We did all our work at school and there was no assigned homework. Neither of us participated in any sports.The only activities I had was girl scouts and piano lessons. Both of these were right after school.

I've tried really hard to avoid over-scheduling my boys. We're very relaxed people and all need our down time. Up until this year Michael was only in one activity at a time. This year, however, he wanted to be in karate so we signed him up and he loves it. But, it comes with a price: it adds two more days to the schedule. Now we have karate two nights a week and scouts one night. Add homework into the mix and you've got a full schedule.

Now I get it. Michael's in transition. He's trying to figure himself out and how this new self relates to the environment around him. Throw in a few too many activities, not enough free time, and a mom who is on his case all the time and it's no wonder that he's a ticking time bomb!

I do admit I'm a little sad because my little boy is growing up. I know this is only the beginning - as he grows older he will try out even more emotions on me because I am his mother and mothers can weather emotional storms like no other (but believe me is it ever trying!!).

Thompson says, "Boys pretend that they don't need their mothers because it makes them feel more grown up and strong. That doesn't fool anyone and it shouldn't fool you. He needs you more than he can ever say. He needs you to hold him when he collapses and cries, even if he can't tell you why he is so frustrated and mad." Hear, hear, I say!!!

I guess I should cut Michael a little slack as he goes through these growing pains. Can I be more understanding of his needs? Sure. Can I cut down on the nagging? Of course. Will I still see red when he constantly whines? Absolutely, but I know it won't last.

Most importantly, though, will I love him unconditionally? Forever!