I write this in a post-New Year's Eve not-enough-sleep fog
as I stayed up way too late last night. My hubby and I didn't do anything special
for New Years' Eve; in fact we stayed home like we usually do, but thanks to an
impromptu party, an impressive act of mom-ness, and a surprising act of
gratitude, our transition into 2020 was pretty epic (IMHO).
New Year's Eve 2019 1:00 pm - it was our first day back
after our trip to Wisconsin to visit Jeff's family. We didn’t really have any
plans for the evening and all I really wanted to do was try to reach my goal of
reading 100 books in 2019. Still in my pajamas, I was halfway through book
number 97 when I heard a screech from Nick's room.
"MOM!!" he called. "Leia used my room for her
litter box again!" I sighed and put my book down, figuring that my reading
time (and cherished slice of peace) for 2019 was over. Although the damage
wasn't as bad as the time several years ago when the cat had wrecked the top
mattress of Nick's bunk bed (in her defense both times she was trapped there by
our other cat - a very temperamental and alpha female who liked to take over
her sister's litter box even though she had her own), several of his favorite
hoodies were soaked. I mentally cursed myself for not separating the cats while
we were in WI as we have done ever since the bunk bed incident, but what was
done was done. I guessed this was the universe’s way of telling me to get up
and get my day on. I had been successful in getting cat pee out of clothes in
the past but was out of the secret ingredient I needed, so, two teens in tow,
it was off to Kroger we went.
I needed to go to the store anyway to get food and snacks
for our New Years' Eve dinner/celebration. Both boys were having friends over
and I hadn't even figured out what to have for dinner that night. Luckily
avocados were on sale (two for a dollar!!) and inspired me to make guacamole,
which then inspired a taco bar - all teens like tacos right?!
One hour, $175 later and loaded up on Doritos, Fritos, soda,
chips AND a version of the secret ingredient I wasn't sure would work, we
returned home. I turned into a whirling dervish as I frantically cleaned the
house before our guests arrived. I know they are only teenagers and as my kids
always tell me their friends don't care or even notice if the house is tidy or
not, but I think everyone deserves a clean toilet.
Four hours later, satiated from a very successful taco bar
that teens and adults loved, I finally turned my attention to the pee-soaked
clothes. I removed them from their hours-long vinegar bath, put them in the
washing machine with some Borax and the secret ingredient - Molly's Suds for
Cloth Diapers. I closed the lid, said a little prayer to the laundry angels,
and walked back into the kitchen. It was 8:00 - four hours until the New Year.
The dishes were done, the house was clean, the kids were sequestered in their
spaces watching memes and playing video games with their friends and Jeff was,
well my husband was asleep on the couch. So I did what any other
self-respecting bibliophile would do - I sat next to him, picked up my book and
read while he napped.
When Jeff awoke we invaded the older teenagers' space to
play Tetris and Galaga on the arcade and then I taught him how to play cribbage
(again). We were both pleasantly surprised when said teenagers invited us to
play a game of 31. I said a silent prayer thanking whoever is in charge for
giving me a son who at 16 still likes to have fun with his parents and for
sending him a friend who is willing to play games with him and said parents on
New Years' Eve.
When 11:30 came we turned on Dick Clark's New Year program
and invited the younger teens into the living room to watch Post Malone
perform, a favorite of theirs. I wish I would have taken a picture of them -
Nick wearing his new Lund hat and his yellow and black checkered sunglasses, rocking
out and feeling totally comfortable in his skin (a feat he's struggled with all
year) while sandwiched in between his two best friends that are girls.
They returned to the party in his room after the
performance, pumping their own music loud and proud. When the ball dropped on
2020 Jeff, I and the older teens toasted the New Year with sparkling cherry
juice in champagne glasses. The young ones started an Instagram Live party and
when I "joined" I was surprisingly welcomed. "Hey, my mom's
here!" I heard Nick exclaim.
The elder teens finished their drink and retreated
downstairs to write a Dungeons and Dragons campaign and the girls prepared for
their parents to pick them up. I remembered the moment of truth waiting for me
in the washing machine. As I pulled the hoodies out of the machine I put each
one up to my nose and sniffed deeply. All I could smell was the scent of
freshly washed clothes - no cat pee! A New Year's miracle!
As I put the hoodies over the banister to dry, the one
remaining girl's mom arrived to pick her up. The teen thanked me for having her
over and with a small unsure smile held out her arms for a hug - another New
Year's miracle, for most of Nick's friends don't take the time to be thankful
for being welcomed into my home or fed or driven around, much less hug me for
it. I shut the door with a tear in my eye, for her simple act of gratitude had
touched my heart, and, if I'm being honest, given me some hope for those
Zoomers.
To me New Year’s Eve has always been an overrated holiday –
it has never lived up to its expectations of being the ultimate party night,
for there’s only so much one can do on a cold winter night. However, last night
was filled with a whole bunch of ordinary moments that to my surprise brought
me a tremendous amount of joy. If my thrill-seeking 16-year-old self could see
me at 50, choosing to spend New Year's Eve at home, playing games and spending
time with her family I know she would have one word for me - LAME.
"Where's the excitement in that?!" she would exclaim. But my
50-year-old self would argue with her, insisting that these seemingly simple
moments, of providing a safe and nurturing hub for my kids and their friends to
have fun in, of playing games with my husband, or grabbing a quiet moment to
get lost in a story, even taking pride in a laundry moment well-done, these are
the moments in my life that bring me happiness and there's nothing LAME about
that. Where she once had to go chasing her joy I have realized that I can
ALWAYS create it for myself, especially in the ordinary moments.
Before last night my sole/soul goal in 2020 was to bring
more joy into my life, to do more things that I like, just for me.
My reasoning was that I have spent the last 16 years being and doing everything
for everyone else and have sadly neglected my own needs. But I see now that
while I do need to create more joy for myself I can’t stop creating it for
others. Creating joy is a superpower and it shouldn’t be kept or hoarded for
oneself.
Today I woke up to 2020 and the sun was shining on a new
layer of snow that had fallen overnight, blanketing everything in a crisp, cold
freshness. A new year, a new decade, a new month, a new start is upon us, all
the trials and tribulations of 2019 washed clean like the cat pee from Nick’s
hoodies. And I am grateful!
I am grateful for friends and family, for my children and
their friends. I am grateful for being able to process my feelings and
experiences into words so that I can make sense of my them and share my
insights with you, my dear readers who I am also grateful for.
So Happy New Year to you! I hope your year is full of
gratitude and joy and wonder! I encourage you to join me on my quest for joy. Feel free to post in the comments what fills you with joy and gratitude!
