Outside the truck the clouds are looking dark and ominous. I
look at my weather app and it says that rain is imminent in the next 66
minutes. I hear what I think is thunder right before Jeff gets into the truck.
Part of me wants to throw in the towel (literally!) and
cancel the ride. Even though I have the laundry done, there’s dinner to prepare,
backpacks to fill, schedules to create – lots to do before the first day of
school. But the other part of me says screw it – it’s Labor Day and all we have
done today is labor. In actuality most of what we have done this summer is
labor, with a few boat rides sprinkled in here and there and one get-away to
Wisconsin and Minnesota. If we get wet it doesn’t matter, after all we’re on a
boat on top of the water, which is also wet. And if a storm rolls through we’ll
pull the boat in.
Jeff echoes my sentiments and off we go. After all, a boat
ride on Labor Day is tradition. By the time we get the boat backed into the
water, Murphy’s law is being proven – it has started to sprinkle. But again, we
plan on going swimming, which is wet, just like rain. Every other boat is
rushing in – they’ve seen what the radar looks like. But I remember last Labor
Day, when we decided to take the boat out. We had just backed in when a patrolman
came over and told us that a huge storm was headed our way within the hour. My
gut said go anyway so we decided to take our chances. My gut was right - the
storm passed us by, not a drop of rain was shed, and we had a great time
swimming.
Today we are the only crazy people launching a boat in the
rain. I hope we won’t get caught in a downpour – don’t we deserve a little fun
time before all the craziness of the school year starts?
As the boat carries us out to our swimming hole, I ruminate
on my reluctance to let go of summer. I mean, no one likes summer vacation to
end, but usually by the last few weeks of summer I am ready for routines to
begin and peace from bickering kids.
This year, I’m not ready.
Maybe it’s because I know that winter will soon be here, for
there is nothing that makes time go faster than a school year. September begins
with curriculum nights and football games; October is conferences, cider mill
visits, and Halloween. In November we begin to pull out warmer clothing and
winter jackets and then Thanksgiving break is here. One month later is
Christmas and New Years, and the days of summer with boat rides, sunbathing, bike
rides, and reading on the deck are distant memories.
Winter is not my favorite season and so that is a plausible
excuse for not wanting summer vacation to be over, but I don’t think that’s the
real reason. The truth lies in my heart, and my heart knows that these summer
days with the kids are coming to an end. Next year, the summer before his
senior year, Michael will probably (hopefully!!) have a job and it will be his
last summer before reality really kicks in and we have to start thinking about
college visits, college applications, college, college, everything COLLEGE!!!
I’m not ready.
This summer was different, because it was my first with two
teenaged boys. It was my first summer where time was not dictated by me but by
the boys, who spent a lot of time staying up late and sleeping in and getting
together with friends. It was the first summer I was able to give them some
freedom to determine and make their own plans for the day. It took me a long time to be able to give them
that freedom without feeling anxious (watch for the post about that – it’s
coming!!) but because of it we had a very harmonious summer. And I’m not ready
to replace that with all the anxiety that comes with school – early morning
rising, homework, lack of free time.
I remember as a younger parent with two active kids, talking
to an older couple as we waited for our table at a local restaurant. They had
teenagers and I could see as they watched our kids they were remembering their children
when they were younger.
“They grow up so fast,” the dad said.
“Savor every moment,” the mom said.
I smiled and nodded and brushed their words off because the
teenage years seemed so far away from the stage I was at with my needy
elementary school-aged children. At the time all I really wanted was one moment
of peace and quiet. Now, however, I am in that couple’s place and I have many
moments of peace and quiet.
But they were right. The time with my kids has flown by so
fast. In two years I will be the proud parent of a high school graduate and
three more after that I will be the proud parent of two high school graduates.
It seems inconceivable to me. I can’t stop time and I wouldn’t want to. Part of
me is excited to see what these two young men are going to do with their lives;
the other part can’t imagine daily life without them.
I’m not ready, but it’s ok. I’m going to take that wise
couple’s advice. From here on out I’m going to savor each and every moment. The
first task on my list is to enjoy this last day of summer vacation, clouds,
rain and all.
The boat is now anchored in the deep water. The rain has
stopped. Michael and I stand on the back of the boat, toes grabbing the edge.
In tandem we jump into the cold water. It is cold but refreshing.
We swim until thunder cuts our antics short and chases us
into the boat. We are deluged with rain on the way to the dock, but it’s ok, we
are already wet.
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