About Me

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I'm a wife of 19 years to Jeff and mother to two teens, Michael 18, and Tracy 15. The cats, Hannah and Leia,are female so I have a little female energy in the house besides me! In my previous life BK (before kids) I was a technical writer, poet, and essayist. Now I'm a write-at-home mom who tries to find the balance between writing, doing for kids, doing for hubbie, doing for the house, and doing for myself.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

It is a small world, after all

Warning: Reading this post may cause the song, "It's a small world" to become stuck in your head for days, but I assure you it will be worth it!

"It's a world of laughter and a world of tears
It's a world of hope and a world of fears
There's so much that we share
That it's time we're aware
It's a small world after all."

The music drifted out of the Magic Kingdom monorail speakers to fall upon our tired ears. It had been a great Saturday - our family's visit to the park had been at a much slower pace than the past few days at Legoland and Universal Islands of Adventure, we had missed the rain (again), and I was looking forward to beaching it for the next few days of our vacation.

As Michael, Jeff, Nicholas and I headed back to the car, I turned on my phone. I had forgotten to charge it the night before and the battery was almost dead, but I wanted to see if I had any text messages. Sure enough, there was one from my mom.

It read, "Your dad just talked to his sister."

My jaw dropped. My eyes started to tear. "No way!!" I exclaimed.

What is so special about a conversation between my dad and his sister? Well, for starters, up until a week prior, my dad didn't even know he had one!

Dad was adopted when he was just two weeks old by my grandparents, who couldn't have children. Dad was an only child and never felt the need to go searching for his birth parents because he was given the love of two or even three children. Even when Grandma died in 2008 Dad wasn't interested in "going down that path". It would have been easy. Mom had known the name of his birth mother, or so we thought.

I had always felt it would be interesting to find out - genetics intrigues me. Although I am a clone of my maternal aunt in many, many ways, I don't look much like anyone in our family - except Dad. I am like him in looks, build, and mannerisms. A part of me has grown up looking closely at strangers for similarities, wondering if they could be related in some way. My standard answer to any doctor's questionaire about the family medical history on my father's side was always a side note - "Don't know, my father was adopted."

Despite my curiosity to know what the heritage and health background of Dad's side was, I respected that it was his decision to start the search for his birth family if he wanted to.

Two weeks ago, however, the powers that be decided that it was time for Dad to find them. Three days before my trip to Florida, I was at my parents' house visiting when Mom pulled me aside.

"Come see what I found," she said as she took me into Dad's office and pulled a piece of paper out of a folder. "It's your dad's adoption certificate."

I did a double take as I read the mother's name. "But who is this?!" My grandmother had told us Dad's birth mother's name was Anne. The name on the adoption certificate was Marcella. "Why did we think it was Anne?"

"I don't know," Mom replied. "But Marcella should be a lot easier to find than Anne."

Sure enough, when Mom plugged Marcella's name into Ancestry.com later she got a hit.

Mom called to give me the news. "We found a Marcella that seems to match. She was born in 1919 and lived only 10 miles away. The bad news though is that she died in 2008, the same year that your Grandma died. However, there is an e-mail address on the family tree so I'm going to e-mail this person and see what comes of it."

Two days later Mom received an e-mail from the family tree owner: "My sister Valerie, who is married to Marcella's grandson, would really like to talk to you."

Mom called me later that night after talking with Valerie. It was my family's first day in Florida and we were driving back from the store.

"I've got some good news!" she said. "I think we've found your dad's birth family! It seems to match up. He has two living sisters and one sister that passed away. I also spoke with one of his sister's daughters, Celena. She was very excited that we found them."

I was astounded, flabbergasted, speechless. Was it really them? After all this time? I wanted to know more.

"June, Carol, and Joyce are your dad's sisters. Joyce passed away in 2011," Mom reported. "His sisters grew up in Pontiac and went to high school in the next town over from us. "

Wow, sisters? I had never actually thought it out in people before, just in genes. It all seemed surreal.

"This whole time they were so close!" I exclaimed. "Did they know about Dad?"

"I don't think so. I guess we'll know more soon. Dad is going to talk with one of the sisters tomorrow," Mom said.

Which brings me back to Disney and the text message: "Your dad just talked to his sister."

That one statement brought so many questions into my head: How did the conversation go? How is Dad taking all this? What is she like? I had to call and find out.

Before I could dial Dad's number, however, my Facebook account started lighting up like a Christmas tree with friend requests and messages from people whose names I didn't recognize. However, as I read the messages it was apparent that they were from the "new" family.

One of the messages was from Celena and it read "Hi I just wanted to introduce myself since we're cousins! Can't wait to meet you all!" Another was from Valerie: "Hi there! Well, things are moving pretty quickly for your family and mine! My husband is one of your newest cousins! I think it's absolutely wonderful that your dad is going to be able to meet his sisters soon."

Wait a minute, I thought. Dad's going to meet them? When? I furiously dialed Mom and Dad's number. Dad answered.

"Hi Dad! We just got out of Disneyworld and I got this message on my phone that you talked to your sister!! I'm dying to know how it went!"

"Well, I'd love to tell you all about it but we're just about to walk out the door to go to dinner with friends. I will give you the brief version. I talked to my sister June and we had a very nice conversation. She seems like a really nice person and we're going to meet with her and her sister, and mine too I guess, Carol, and June's daughter Celena on Friday. You'll be home from Florida then. Would you like to join us?"

"Do kids like candy? Of course I want to come!" I exclaimed. "I can't believe that you have to go now and leave me in the dark!" I wanted to know everything - what were their ages, did they know they had a brother, what was their mom like, etc. I hung up with Dad and then called my brother. Maybe he could fill in some of the details. The phone rang and rang and rang. No one was home.

"Aargh!!" I exclaimed to Jeff. "I just found out the most exciting, mind-blowing news that, after 65 years of being an only child, my dad finds out that he has sisters, and I can't talk to anyone about it!!"

So I turned to the only device left to me to find out more information - Facebook. Now I know that a lot of people don't really like Facebook and yes, it is a time suck, but in this situation it was my saving grace and I will forever be grateful to whoever created it. Mom had told me to look on my cousin Joseph's (June's son) page because there was a picture of him and my dad's birth mom.

It took me awhile to find the picture but when I did it took my breath away. Staring up at me was a female version of my father - gray hair and blue eyes, great big smile too. So that's where the blue eyes and grey hair come from, I thought, two traits I, and not my brother, shared with my dad. Yet in Joe I could see traits of my brother.

Dad with Marcella and his sisters (Carol and June)

"Look at this!!" I said to my husband as I shoved my phone in his face. "It's my dad's birth mom!!" Jeff was driving so it probably wasn't the smartest thing for me to put my phone in his face, but I was really excited and he was the only one I could share it with.

On Celena's page I found a treasure trove of pictorial wealth. She had pictures of herself, her mom, and her brothers when they were younger as well as pictures.of Marcella. As I browsed through Joe and Celena's pictures I took note of all the physical similarities we all shared. It wasn't just my dad that looked like them either. In a few pictures of June I noticed that she and I had the same cheekbones and nose and face shape.

Jen (left) and June (right)

It is hard to explain the emotions that bubbled to the surface in that two hour drive from Orlando to Venice, FL - emotions that I didn't even know were there. It felt like a treasure had been found that I didn't even know was lost. I felt very lucky that for my whole life I have had a very wonderful, loving and close relationship with my family of aunts and uncles and cousins. Now I was being blessed with the chance to get to know a whole other side that I had only wondered about.

Even though I was on vacation in Florida I couldn't wait to get back home to the polar vortex that was Michigan. I wanted to know more about these people who shared my genes - what were they like? What interests did we share?

I sighed and watched the palm trees go by. It was going to be a long week.

Stay tuned for the next post in which more is revealed!!

2 comments:

Val said...

Love!!! Can't wait to read more. We're looking forward to meeting you all in person the next time we're in Michigan. As for the song swirling around in my head, it's making me homesick for California! (I grew up near Disneyland.) Sigh.

Sheila said...

This was so beautiful to read, and made me tear up. So amazing how we all felt the same way! As soon as we left from meeting you all, I kept saying to James, I can't believe how much he looks like Gramma Cella, & you definately favor June. So happy for this! :-) it sure is a Small World after all...