The Art Of Vomit

Welcome to cold and flu season! Nicholas and I have been down and out with a cold so I haven't had much time to devote to writing. I wrote this piece a couple of years ago but I think it's still timely. Enjoy!

At times I feel very inadequate as a parent. Like when the boys are sick. Nowhere in the parenting books does it tell you how to deal with vomit.

I’m changing 2 ½ year old Michael’s diaper on his bedroom floor and 4 month old Nicholas is lying next to him. Michael begins coughing uncontrollably and the next thing I know he’s throwing up all over himself. Reflexively I stand him up, where he finishes vomiting. His shirt is soaked, the floor is now spotted in dark pink, and I have vomit on me. For a moment I’m frozen like a deer in headlights - I don’t know what to do first. Do I clean off my hands or get a towel to clean the floor or Michael’s face and shirt? I’m thankful that Nicholas didn’t get any on him – that would have created a second wave of dumbfoundedness. I quickly run to the bathroom rinse my hands and grab a towel to wipe off Michael’s face. Then I race back to my crying son.

I am faced with the dilemma of how to take off his shirt without getting vomit all over his head. I opt with the backwards removal by drawing the back of his shirt over his head hair first so as to minimize exposure to the face. Now it’s off to the bathroom for an impromptu but well needed bath. In between washing Michael’s toes and fingers I go to his bedroom and scrub the carpet to get rid of the stain and the stench. One hour later Michael is cozy in pajamas and the vomit crisis has been almost forgotten.

Being only 2 ½ years into this parenting thing I haven’t had a lot of experience in the art of vomit. I guess vomit removal isn’t one of those innate parenting skills like boo boo kissing. It’s like any other messy situation that kids create – you just deal with it as best you can and someday perhaps handling it will become second nature.

How did my mom manage when my brother and I were sick? I don’t recall her hesitating for a second. I remember warm hugs and lots of kisses and cold cloths against my forehead. I remember her soothing my fears with a simple “Shh, Mom’s here,” as she wiped my face. I remember being surrounded with love and knowing that I would get well because my mom was taking care of me.

I hope that’s what Michael and Nicholas will remember about being sick when they are older - the hugs and kisses and love – and not the traumatic stuff like when I inadvertently shot liquid Motrin up Michael’s nose when he bumped the cup as I was lifting it to his mouth, or the pain that he went through when he had Nursemaid’s Elbow. Nicholas hasn’t been sick much so far but I’m sure there will be instances that I hope he doesn’t remember.

I recently asked my mom the best way to clean up vomit. She hesitated as if she’d forgotten (or just put those memories in a far dark corner of her brain), but then told me to scrub it with “a lot of soapy water.” And, I am learning, a lot of love. Thanks, Mom.

Have you had any experiences with vomit or have you perfected the art of cleaning up vomit? Send me an e-mail or comment on this blog - I'm still trying to learn how to deal with it!