The Fling

My husband is having a fling. I know about it too. In fact, he wants me to join in. I just don't know how I feel about having a threesome ..... with a boat.

That's right, the other woman is a boat. A 1996 Four Winns Fling.

It all came about in August right before we went on our yearly vacation up north to a small cabin on a small lake by Sleeping Bear Dunes National Park. This would be our third year taking the kids up to the cabin we rented with my sister-in-law, niece, and brother, who, to put it mildly, is a fishing enthusiast.

The first year the guys went fishing in the rowboat that was provided with the cabin. The rowing proved to be too taxing for them so the second year my husband Jeff borrowed a motor from one of his friends with a boat. He and my brother spent the entire week trying to get that motor to work so they could attach it to the rowboat and go fishing in style. Alas, they never got it started and had to be satisfied with catching fish waist-deep in the lake.

So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised with what was coming next. As our trip approached, Jeff frequented the computer at every spare chance he got.

"Whatcha doing?" I asked him as he sat at the computer while I cleaned up the dinner dishes yet again.

"Nothing," he replied. "Just surfing."

"Surfing for what?" I asked as I walked over to peek at what he was doing. When he saw that I was not going to stop being nosy until I had a satisfactory answer he spilled his plan.

"I'm looking for boats so we can take one up north on vacation."

Oh, the boat obsession thing again.

"What are we going to do with a boat?" I began my argument, one of which he'd heard many, many times. "The kids are too little to tube or water ski and besides, they are afraid of the water anyway!"

"Well, I found a small one on craigslist.com and it's in good shape and is only a mile away. I think I'm going to take a look at it," he said, my argument falling on deaf ears. Oh crap, I thought, this time he's seriously looking. Time to pull out all the stops.

"Where would we store a boat? We can't even fit the cars in the garage right now? And with gas being so high - is buying a boat right now a smart thing?"

Apparently he'd been thinking about the boat for a long time and had done his research so he had an answer for all my questions.

"We can store it at your dad's - he'd let us right? And because this is a small boat it really won't take that much gas. Besides, I've already received an e-mail from the seller and I'm going to take a look tomorrow. Come on, it'll be fun to have a boat!"

He had such a happy look on his face that I conceded. "All right, go take a look at the boat and I'll think about it," I said, but even as I spoke those words I knew the decision wasn't up to me and that if the boat was in good shape the sale was already made.

I did, however, keep up my end of the bargain and think about what life would be like with a boat in it. And I didn't really like what I saw. For one thing, I am not a boat person. I am a land dweller. I like to have both feet planted on solid ground not in a wobbly boat that pollutes the air with gas fumes. Lakes have too many things in them, like seaweed and FISH. Anyone who knows me knows of my fear of the finned ones. I won't even go into the water when minnows appear at the shore. So for me to go in a boat on a lake where if I fall in I might come in contact with a fish is not something that appeals to me.

And another thing: Jeff gets very involved and obsessed with his toys and this boat would be yet another distraction away from me and the boys. I could see it now - the yard would go to pot because every nice weekend for the rest of the summer would be spent on the boat. And evenings would be spent tinkering on the boat.

I kept these thoughts to myself because Jeff came home from the viewing looking so happy as he said "Family, we are almost the proud owners of a boat!" He said almost because he did want to get my input first. So we went to have a look. I have to tell you, I didn't see stars or fireworks as he must have when he first laid eyes on the boat. To me I saw a tiny boat that looked like it was in good shape. To Jeff, it was fun, excitement, and thrill in a small package. Jeff tried to sell me on all the details, like the fact that this boat would retain its value if we decided in a few years that the boating life was not for us after all. "What fun we could have as a family on this boat!" he pontificated. I knew that if I didn't agree that he would either buy it anyway or continue his search until he wore me down, so I relented with strings.

"I'm not totally sold on this boat thing," I told him. "You'll have to do some heavy convincing."

The next day the boat was ours. And the affair had begun. His, not mine.

The first time he got a chance to drive the boat as the owner was on the lake up north, 5 days after he bought it.

"Do you know what you're doing?" I asked him as I helped him back the boat into the water. He assured me he did but I could tell he didn't. The wind was blowing kind of hard and each time he tried to get the boat started it would start to drift back into shore. I was no help because I knew absolutely nothing about boats. Luckily for him a kind, brave soul saw his need and came to help him get the boat started and going in the direction he wanted. I watched him throttle it to full speed as the motor took, hair flying off his forehead as the nose of the boat rose sharply in the air. Well, at least he's happy, I thought. I just hope he doesn't get stranded in the middle of the lake.

That week at the lake was the best week we'd had at the cabin. I'd actually have to say that the boat was a big reason: the dads got to spend some quality time teaching their kids how to fish on the boat; therefore, the moms got some alone time to relax and bake in the sun. And everyone knows that when moms are happy, everyone is happy!

Back home, however, real life with the boat set in. As I'd predicted, every nice weekend was planned around the boat. We took it out with friends one Saturday and were on it for 6 hours. Well, the guys and kids were at least for the novelty of going around a lake in circles had wore off on me up north. Plus, when I was on the boat with Jeff and the kids I was always worried about the kids' safety.

"Don't go so fast," I would tell him as we zoomed over the waves from another boat. "What if you bounce the kids out of the boat?" Jeff assured me that would not happen, but I didn't believe him.

Needless to say, I haven't been on the boat too much. I would much rather be at home than on the boat. He has gone out with the kids and with friends but I can tell that he really wants to take me for a ride and convince me that having a boat is fun. After all, that's what he bought it for.

Tomorrow he will get his chance. The kids are going to the zoo with their grandparents and the weather is supposed to be perfect. So I'll leave my misgivings about the boat behind and try to have fun. After all, why should the boat get to have all the fun? I'd like to have a fling with my husband too!